I am 21(fem) and my brother is 18 (m), we did not have a good childhood at all growing up. A lot of mistreatment from both my parents. My mother and father got a divorce back in 2017 and i haven't spoke to my father much ever since (that's a whole other story) but me and my mother had a good relationship, or so i thought.

When i graduated high school in 2019 i wanted to major in psychology but both my parents were against it and made me do business instead. I dropped out my first semester and used weed as a tool to numb out childhood trauma. I told my mother i needed a year off for mental health. She was NOT okay with it. My mother would use it against me for months on end and tell me how I'm a loser and because i wasn't in college i had no future. I was working at a grocery store at the time, as a supervisor, so in my mind i felt as if i had plenty of time to figure out my future.

A year goes by and then covid hit, a lot of my friends cut me off and my mothers verbal attacks got worst. I 20 at the time fall into a dark hole but I was still trying to keep myself going. I quit my job as the supervisor and I'm on and off with jobs. My mother blamed me and says that i can't do anything right. I would have many conversations with my mother telling her that i need her support and how depressed i am. She would pretend to understand but continue to bash me the day after.

Another year goes by, it's early 2022 and my depression is so bad on the brink of wanting to do awful things to myself. Me and my mother are arguing everyday and she is always telling me how I'm a loser and i ruined my future. Everyday she reminds me that I could’ve had a great future and I'm not responsible for anything. At one point i blew up on her i told her that she could've taught me and my brother to be more responsible but all she does is lay down after work and expect me to clean after her since i was 15. Which is true. I confronted her for always blaming me whenever anything went wrong and for not being a responsible mother.

After that our relationship hasn't been the same. Our conversations are "Hi have you fed the dogs" or "did you figure out what you wanna do with you future". If i get a job she always asks me if i can move up in the company and to get my own benefits. If i quit a job she just ignores me and talks Shit about me to her friends. I told her i wanted to go to college again and she simply said “there’s no point you already wasted all your time, just stick to finding a decent job and stop be unrealistic” There’s so much more to this but it’s best way i could summarize it.

P.s My brother decided to take a year off from school after graduation to focus on music cause he makes raps. And my mother blamed me for setting a bad example for my brother. My brother just got a job in IT work and she doesn’t take any of it serious. She makes fun of him.

Edit: I moved out my moms house and into an apartment with my boyfriend down in Florida. My mom wasn’t okay with it at first but we spoke about how it would help us grow separately from each other and she agreed because of how toxic our relationship got. Now me and her talk on the phone every single day and our relationship is stronger then it’s ever been. I now realize that i was also at fault and should’ve tried to understand a lot more from my moms perceptive. But i don’t appreciate the people being disrespectful and rude in the comments.