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i (20m) am in college, and an art major. this semester, after always doing painting and drawing, i picked up ceramics - and am good at it. i’ve been in a wheel-throwing class all semester, where i’ve learned how to throw bowls, plates, mugs, planters, and other things.
my mom (54f) has always been jealous that i’ve been able to pursue art as a major and a future career - she never had the chance to do so, as she had kids as a teen. so her life was put on hold, and she had to go for a career that would put food on the table. however, to this day, she’s still very creative.
my school is three hours away from home, and it’s a small liberal arts college where everybody knows everybody. starting my freshman year (in the middle of covid), her and i had a very close relationship - and at the time, my art professor invited her to the ceramics lab when the school came out of lockdown.
now, almost finishing my sophomore year, the school is back to normal. but my moms and my relationship is very strained. i’ve also discovered that i’m trans and go by a different name and pronouns on campus, which she doesn’t know about. she has insisted on coming down here to “play” with clay, and has been pestering me about it non-stop. but i’m no longer comfortable with the idea of her being on-campus; it’s my safe space where i can be myself, and not her daughter. i don’t want to out myself.
so, she hasn’t come down here yet (although she’s threatened to come down multiple times). but the longer that she’s away from clay, the more insistent she’s getting that i make her things, since i won’t let HER make things.
she’s getting five planters for mothers day, and she got a mug from me for her birthday. she’s also requested multiple other things, which i said i could get to next semester. i also already told her that i would be bringing home old assignments, and she could pick out some more things then.
the last straw has been my final assignment for my class. i ended up throwing a cylinder shape, and turning it into a really pretty fairy house. i’m super proud of it, and i’m either going to keep it for myself or try and sell it, since other people have taken interest in it.
i told my mom about the fairy house, and she asked fo see a picture. i complied. then she started insisting that i should give it to her - even though i had already stated that it wasn’t for her. i told her my plans with it, and she got really pouty that it wasn’t going to be for her.
i feel stuck. i don’t want her on campus so she can make her own things, and me making things for her has been the one thing keeping her quiet. but she’s already getting so much from me. i don’t like feeling guilty for not giving her something i know she wants, but i feel angry that she feels entitled to my art all the time.
wibta if i didn’t give her the fairy house, even though she really wants it?
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