Ok so my (37F) best friend (38F) is dying. Her prognosis is about under a week. My wife worked a long week roughly 50 hours but has tried to be there for me. She even came to the hospital with me once. My best friend and I have been friends for 32 years. We grew up together and we are each other’s family.

Tonight was rough because I’m the point person for a lot of her friends. We have a lot of the same mutuals so I’m doing the best I can with making sure everyone knows and gets a chance to say goodbye. Since visitation is finally allowed I’ve been taking my iPad to the hospital and have been video chatting everyone that wants to say goodbye. Tonight I’m not going to the hospital because of other family visiting. My other bestie (41M) is her ex boyfriend and he’s taking it HARD. My mom suggested that it may be best for us to be there for each other because we both knew my friend and loved her deeply. My mom knows how close the three of us were and her idea sounded good. My wife isn’t good with grief so I thought leaning on someone who isn’t her would be good for us both. She’s doesn’t have to deal with my feeling and he and I would have space to grieve together before ole girl passes.

I mentioned to my wife that I wanted him to come over for a slumber party so we can do all the things the three of us used to do and cry it out together. My wife wasn’t pleased. She copped an attitude with me on the phone when I mentioned him coming over though she did agree. We do have space in the house for him in the guest-room so that wasn’t the issue.

When I got home from my mom’s I mentioned her attitude. She said she just wanted a peaceful nights rest as she had a long week at work. She did work about 50 hours this week and the sole breadwinner. Normally I’m super respectful of her schedule but grief is a bitch and I feel I need the support. She isn’t that great at it so I don’t wanna burden her with my feelings and just wanted to be sad with someone who I know is also going through it.

I snapped at her and told her one of the people I am closest to is dying and she could get a peaceful rest tomorrow as she has work on Monday not Sunday.

I really feel bad about loosing my cool and going off but like this isn’t a normal situation.

AITA?

EDIT: I was laid off due to Covid. I was actively contributing to the household budget with my savings until my wife told me to stop and just save my money. I am currently job hunting. 50 hours is not her normal work week just this one. We have a policy that there can be overnight guest on weekends but not during the week. Any weekday guest gotta get ghost by 9-10pm