I (M25) have been estranged from my family for close to 10 years now. Due to unfortunate circumstances growing up, I had no real relationship with my parents or two younger siblings.

I joined the military and spent about 5.5 years overseas/away and an additional year in a different state. Needless to say, the communication and time spent with said family wasn’t vast. However, my wife felt it could benefit me to attempt to rekindle these relationships and try to move forward for the sake of my new family (wife and son).

We moved back to home state, about an hour from said family, and invited people over very often. They always had some sort of excuse or simply ghosted me and never came over.

Fast forward 8 months and I decide to take a new job out of state (approximately 5 hours from family) for the benefit of my new little family as it paid exceptionally well. While we begin the process to move, family complains saying they’ll never see us now that we’re moving even though we had to commute almost an hour near every weekend for our son to see that part of his family. We decided to invite the family out to see our new house and have a “break-in” party and they all denied the trip. So, I invited again for an upcoming holiday and again, more excuses.

Finally I got fed up and simply told parents that if they’ve no intention to follow through with plans and commute after how much we had the last year and some change, I didn’t want them to come over at all.

They’re all mad at me and said I was disrespectful about the way I handled things. AITA for expressing my disinterest in them visiting now?

INFO update: There were never any circumstances that could have prevented them from visiting- they just always either never showed up when scheduled or bailed the day of and never gave specific reasoning.