Ever since I was a kid I was never allowed to keep any of my gift money. Cash, prepaid gift cards, none of it, All of it was used to regift other people (I got to keep the thoughtful and physical gifts ofc, my parents aren’t that demonic lol). Even my tooth fairy money miraculously disappeared. And then whenever they would gift me cash, they would miraculously not have any on them and ask me for money and then not pay me back. My family is pretty well off and so we really don’t need to do it, and I understand being frugal, but it gets kind of excessive when you got around 900$ in total from your grad party, and all of it is instantly taken from you.

I’m 18 and about to turn 19 in a month and my friend who I haven’t seen in a while gave me a late graduation gift. They gave me a really thoughtful gift as I’m about to head off to college but also a 25$ gift card. I knew my parents would never let me keep it so I hid it. I mean it is a gift for me... not my parents. I ended up using it yesterday and somehow my parents found out. I found out that my mom has access to my email on her phone. She asked me how I got the money and I told her from the graduation gift. And she called me a liar a thief and a cheat. She’s crying in the other room as I type this.

They went ballistic and threatened not to help with paying for college, and not letting me get a bank account. I feel bad, but I don’t think they have the authority to commandeer the gifts that I get and should have the right to monitor every step that I take every waking moment I have.

Edit: I DID NOT GET A JOINT ACCOUNT WOOHOOO! thank you guys so much for your kind words, advice, and affirmation! sorry for not responding for a while... I went to get a bank account right after I saw multiple people telling me that I could just do it myself and used a promotional offer that gives me 100$ for only new chase customers to make sure I wouldn’t get a joint account. My parents didn’t let me use my grandma’s check just yet so I used a check that I got for winning a business competition which was enough. I’m moving away to college in the next few weeks, so I’ll have a little more freedom. I’ll just play it by ear for the tuition.

Although this isnt the only thing that sucks about them I still love them and care deeply about them. They do love me, but struggle to properly manifest their love because they didn’t have great relationships with their parents either. So I won’t go completely NC. Not to mention they are helping paying my tuition and letting me live in a house we own rent free lol. Like I said previously these experiences are just helping me create a blueprint for how my children’s lives are supposed to be!

Edit 2: btw the business competition I won was in personal finance lol it just didn’t occur to me that I could go to the bank by myself. I was thinking about a custodial account that my parents had for me that I wanted access to.

Edit 3: Alrighty everyone was telling me that I NEEDED to get a new email address, I was skeptical about getting a new email address because everything that I have is linked to it, my twitch, youtube, and robinhood, etc. but I just made one. Step two towards independence :)

Reddit, you guys are amazing, thank you for the support. I didn’t expect this to blow up like it did because I thought that this sort of thing happened to a lot of people, and i just “stole” a gift card nothing too special. But the support, the private messages, the comments have literally moved me to tears. Although I am still living with my parents for the next couple weeks, I already feel like I’m becoming more independent. I’ll continue to respond to any advice, messages, or questions you might have as just talking about my situation helps me understand my situation better.