My (30F) boyfriend (31M) & I bought a house a few months ago. Our landlord was selling the house we had been renting so we had to move. Shortly after we got a closing date on the new house, we got a 30 day notice to move. The kicker is we’d only have one day to move!

So we planned for moving day. We were closing on a Friday so we asked our families to help us move on Saturday since they’d all be off work. They came through because they’re amazing! My pregnant SIL even came to help with what she could safely do & took care of our dog for us.

Here’s where I might be the asshole: I shared this info in the group chat with my two best friends, Rachel & Phoebe, & asked for help. I knew full well that Rachel would find some excuse to say no, she always does. Sure enough she chose that moment to announce she & her husband were putting their house up for sale & had an offer on a new house so they would be preoccupied with their own packing & move. Which I would normally be fully understanding of, moving with a 2 yr old can’t be easy, but honestly I’d had enough of her rarely being there when I needed her after I’d been there for her so much. In under 2 years I helped her move, plan her wedding, threw her bridal shower with 0 help from her other bridesmaids apart from Phoebe who bought & cooked all of the food (which was all copycat Chipotle recipes requested by the bride) & the BM from out of state who helped Phoebe cook the day of.

Then she started trying to get pregnant immediately after her wedding, which is fine except she cried to me, who’s infertile, when her first try was negative. I had tried for 4 years & had only recently stopped when I left my ex. She was pregnant the next month. 6 months later guess who threw her baby shower without any help except Phoebe again making the food. (She’s a great cook & I’m not diminishing how much help doing this both times was!)

I didn’t mind doing any of this, I signed up for it, but it became clear that she did not intend to reciprocate when my turn came. Isn’t friendship supposed to be give & take? I won’t say she was never there for me at all, she was supportive during my infertility struggle & divorce. But for the most part it seems it was me doing for her.

When I told her how I felt she didn’t like it. I got one response from her, then she just cut me out. She unfriended me & my boyfriend on FB. She also cut Phoebe out for no reason. She then shared a post on FB (her profile isn’t private & she didn’t block me) saying when someone points out the things they’ve done for you it shows that all those things were about control not generosity. I legit only asked her for help during a very rushed move which I felt was reasonable & I lost a friend for it. If she couldn’t help that day she could’ve offered to help me unpack or organize a little bit on a different day or at least said congratulations. That’s what I would’ve done.