I (20F) have been planning to move out of my family's house with my boyfriend (20M) for a few months now, for various reasons. Not wanting to be around my family is somewhat a factor, but I mostly want to be closer to the city where I can go into my lab and my job and eventually classes without having to endure a very long and costly transit to and from the city.

My parents are extremely conservative Asian people. They would not approve of me moving out alone in the first place, much less moving in with my boyfriend together. I know I should have given them more notice, but I was just afraid- I have worked up the courage to finally tell my mom that I was having severe mental health issues and that I needed help before, and she told me that I was weak for thinking that and that everyone thought that so I needed to grow up. That set me on a path of health decline that lasted for a few years and ever since then it's been incredibly difficult to open up to her about anything important in my life. They also treat me like I am a child all the time despite all the research and preparation I do to be reasonable and knowledgeable when I come to them with a problem or plan, so I have lots of built-up trauma regarding that.

When I told them the news, my mom lost it and cried for 3 hours, and when my dad found out, he asked me why I ever thought this was a good idea and if this was normal to me. I responded that I never thought or said it was a good idea, but that the reason I couldn't say anything was because I was afraid- so deathly afraid of being cruelly turned down or not taken seriously again, of being treated like I didn't know what I was doing. He then cut me off, told me I was to never speak to him again, and slammed the door so hard he broke it. He canceled my data plan, tuition payments, and car insurance, which I understood and took as a reasonable response to a shocking piece of news. But I was stunned to see that he had canceled my health insurance as well, which I took to mean that in the era of COVID-19, he would rather have me die than disobey him and make decisions without consulting him. I don't think of a man who wants to kill me as my dad anymore.

I thought that if I told my parents and opened up about feeling afraid to come to them with important life decisions, they would come from at least some place of empathy and hear me out despite the shock they felt at the sudden news. I don't know if I even have the right to distinguish what was right from what was wrong at this point. Leaving the house was something I needed to do, and although I know the path I took wasn't ideal, I felt that it was the only thing I could do. However, I feel horrible now because my mom is incredibly upset and the man who used to be my father does not love me anymore because of what I did. I don't know how to feel and if I should apologize to both of them. Reddit AITA?