So here’s the backstory- my aunt and father have a very rough relationship because my grandmother needed to be put into a nursing home as she was left mentally and physically incompetent after a stroke. My father completely took over her finances and had her placed in a way too expensive nursing home. If the quality was matched with its price point, I wouldn’t be calling it overpriced, but it is.

My aunt (a nurse) wanted my grandmother to be put into a further away facility about two hours away because it had a much better reputation and would heal her faster, even if it wasn’t as extravagant. My father said no as it was too far and he wanted to check in on her often. In the end, my father chose to put her in the overpriced "resort" in what I think is a means of showing off.

This place obviously came with a huge price tag and my father needed assistance in paying as her social security did not cover it all. My aunt refused because 1, she did not choose that place nor agree to it and 2, my father has taken her money before and basically scammed her. Later, she asked for direct bills and statements saying how much the nursing home’s rent was so she could help with a certain percentage, but was denied from seeing it for privacy reasons. From my father’s point of view, she is seen as "selfish" and "doesn’t give a damn about her own mother".

Fast forward to when COVID hit and virtual learning had to happen. No one could watch her kids as both her and her husband work full-time. I offered thinking it was no big deal to watch her kids. I am still very close with her as she was a major part of my childhood and she has always been there for me. At the time, I lived with my mother half the time and with my father the other so I would use my car to drive to her house and watch the kids there. My father flipped out and immediately and threatened to sell my car. His reasoning was because of "COVID" reasons but later pinned it on my college grades insisting that I was failing when I was not.

He spoke to me later asking how I could watch her children when she has treated my grandmother so badly and refuses to help her in these terrible times. But to me, I was just hearing that my aunt was going to pay me for watching her kids and severely needed help so I did. She had been there for me emotionally much more than my father had and didn’t even pressure me into watching her kids; she said if it ruined the relationship between me and my father it wasn’t worth it.

I decided to watch my cousins anyway because I wasn’t doing much and figured the car selling was a bluff. I was wrong and he took my car and sold it, banned me from coming over, and didn’t ever reach out to me after that. His wife (my stepmother) called me and yelled at me for being a "piece of shit" and letting a terrible woman brainwash me into thinking she wasn’t in the wrong at all. In reality, I just don’t care about their drama and wanted money.

Am I the asshole?