Obligatory mobile apology in advance.

Background: My father is not a good person. He was abusive throughout my childhood, took out thousands of dollars in loans in my name while I was in trade school, thus ruining my credit, he cheated on my mom with several other women, and is a compulsive liar to boot. He recently got remarried to an old girlfriend from his high school days and made a public Facebook post that said something along the lines of ‘he’s so glad that after 40 something years that he can finally be happy’ which really upset me and my sister. There’s several other reasons, but please understand he’s not a great guy.

My wife and I have been married for a couple years now and just recently learned we’re expecting our first child. We are very excited and want to do everything the right way for the kid. My in-laws are amazing people who are very supportive and kind, as is my mom.

The issue is that I’m torn between telling my father we’re expecting or not. I don’t want to keep our child from having a relationship from him if that’s what they want, but I also don’t want them to be hurt the same way as I was growing up.

I’ve talked to my wife about this and she says she’ll support whatever decision I make, as she doesn’t like my father either. I have always tried to avoid making people upset with me if I can help it, bu to know that’s impossible to do 100% of the time. I guess I’m just wondering if I’ll be the asshole if I don’t inform him that he has a grandchild on the way, because I know I’ll be labeled the bad guy when he inevitably finds out from someone else.