So this is a bit of a longer one I think. I (19 M) have had a complicated relationship with my family. My parents got a divorce when I was 10 and their relationship has gone to shit since. My sister (20 F now) and I have constantly been in the middle while we tried to keep my brother (12 M now) out of it.

My mom had always said since I started high school that she would move with her current boyfriend to a smaller town north of the city we lived in. She never specified because she never put any more thought into it than that. I never imagined she actually meant it though because my mother and father have split custody. She thinks that because my father doesn’t pay child support (which is a whole other thing) she has every right to move away from the city as long as we stay in the same state, which we are.

Well, lo and behold, she did and she planned on moving everyone to a town about 4 hours out of our old city which would make it impossible for my dad to see us when he can. He hasn’t been taking us for his regular visits because of “scheduling conflicts”, which my mom believes are because he doesn’t want to see us. I can say with a lot of honesty that my father didn’t make an effort to see us 100% of the time and this is shown by his lack of communication with me and my siblings as well as his flakeyness, but I love him because he’s my dad and he is putting in effort regardless of my mom being difficult to deal with at times.

Now Father’s Day is tomorrow and the move was this past Wednesday, so I was prepared to not see my dad on Father’s Day. However, about a week ago, I was speaking to my dads girlfriend and I asked if she would be able to drive my dad up so we can see him (my dad can’t drive because my mom told the state that he hasn’t been paying child support so they suspended it). I also wanted it to be a surprise for him. I made this plan without letting my mom know thinking that it would all work out.

So I told her today that this plan is in the works, but might now happen (because flakeyness) and she proceeds to tell me that I’m an asshole for not filling her in on the plan because she “doesn’t want dads girlfriend to be the hero”. I firmly believe that if I filled her in, he wouldn’t even be maybe coming tomorrow.

I don’t know why I’m helping my dad. He’s an asshole and he continues to date the woman with whom he cheated on my mom with. But I suppose I want my brother to have a father he can be proud of and I want my dad to have a good Father’s Day.

So reddit, AITA?

I should mention that the reason my father struggles with paying child support is because my mother has, on multiple occasions, contacted the state because he “wasn’t paying”. While this may be true, my mom and family was living off of the funds my grandma provided.