My mother is remarried to a guy that my brother, sister and I don't like. She's known how we feel about him pretty much their entire relationship. My brother has a 2 year old, a 6 month old, my sister has 1.5 year old twins, and I have a 1 year old. We refer to this guy by his name only, and make sure to correct ANYONE who thinks he's our father.

Recently he asked if it bothers us that he calls all our children his grandchildren and we all said yes. Yet he claims that since he's been around for 20 years we should just get over it. Hell post on social media saying it, he'll send text messages saying it, and when I had my baby he was so quick to tell the nurse that he is such a proud grandfather. Even in front of my father in law who is a legit grand father.

Are we the asshole?

Edit: a lot of people asked for more details so here's goes. Btw I very much appreciate everyone's feedback here

1) it's not just my brother, sister and I who hate him. Everyone dislikes this guy. My uncle(mom's brother), my father hated him, cousins and other family members. Even people.who barely interact with him grew to dislike him only after a few interactions.

2) there's a very long history here (20 years worth) of reasons why we don't like him. He makes up stories, telling multiple people the same story with the details never matching. Never holds a job for longer than 6 months to a year. Even my wife who tries to see the good in everyone said recently that it hit her how many jobs he's held since her and I met (10 years).

3) my mother and father were very civil and friend when they separated. They coparented as best they could. Then this guy got involved and began to put his two cents into their parenting and this caused a lot of friction.

4) my father sadly passed away 2 years ago. He was only 56. My brother had his daughter roughly 6 months before my father passed. And with my father being sick and unable to be around his granddaughter, my step father would post on social media at every opportunity referring to himself as a grandfather. My brother asked him to stop because he felt it was disrespectful to our actual father. So he stopped until that December (3 months after my dad passed) when my sister had her babies and started immediately posting about how he's a proud grandfather to 3 beautiful grandchildren. So we had to tell him again. Then almost 9 months later I had my baby and AGAIN he started posting about himself as a proud grandfather to 4 perfect grandbabies.

5) he has a daughter who has a baby of her own. No relationship there. He hasn't tried to have a relationship with her since maybe 2 years after I met him. He acts like she doesn't even exist.

6) us not liking him isn't a new thing. Before my mother and him got married my mother asked my brother, sister and I how we felt about him separately. We all said we didn't like him and didn't trust him. That was over 15 years ago. And there have been many convos and arguments over the years where we've made it clear.

I can go into much more detail but I think that covers a lot of what is being asked. Please feel free to ask me for any other details.

EDIT #2 - it seems like I need to explain further what our problem is. Our request is that he ease up on constantly posting to social media with captions saying "my grandchildren" or "proud grandparent". We've all explained that our father, their real grandfather is not with us and cannot post any pictures with them. We all feel like it's very disrespectful to him to do that. We'd prefer he never called them his grandkids, but in person we can't stop him from doing whatever he wants. There are reasons we don't want him to be around our kids that much.

1) he had to be told numerous times not to pull his paper towel out of his pocket and wipe out kids faces with it. 2) he had to be told multiple times not to put his fingers in our kids mouths. 3) we've all asked him not to bring our kids into other rooms and out of our site. 4) he has an addiction to pain meds and we never know when he's high from them 5) he falls asleep in the middle of the day on the couch and would absolutely fall asleep with them in his lap or just fall asleep and let them roam unattended 6) he's not a hygenic person and we just don't feel comfortable with them around him 7) there was an incident recently where he was watching my sister's kids with my mother and my sister has a camera so she can check in here and there. She got a notification of movement and the video shows him very creepily staring at the camera, he pretends to move the board games stacked next to the camera around, here's my mother coming back from putting the babies to bed and sits down, when she steps out of the room again he quickly gets up and turns the camera. The camera stayed that way until about 15 minutes before my sister and her husband were getting back home.