My friend seems really condescending to me, especially when she is stressed out or anxious. I've given it a pass and looked past it over the years because I understand she is scared or flat out insecure. I try to talk about it, but she gets defensive. Otherwise she's a great friend and even helped me raise money for my brain tumor treatments.

I've gotten sick of her lately, due to bad incidents. We agreed to go to the gym together before. On the bench press, I noticed it was too much weight for her as it was dipping to the sides, back wasn't arched, shoulders buckling, so I said she should lower the weight. I was polite about it, however she says, "I know what I can do better than you, this isn't my first rodeo."

Later, we planned a trip and reserved an AirBnB . It was on her account, so I sent her my share of the bill via Zelle. She tells me a week later that it got automatically withdrawn before the AirBnB charged her, by her credit card company. I had to submit a repeat payment, and she had to paid me back a month later. I said I was frustrated was and she apologized profusely, even giving me money when she had no groceries (I didn't know that). When I told her to get her needs met first before paying me, she said, "Boy, I'm trying to do you a favor here, just take it,"

A month later, she asked me to teach her how to change her oil. I gathered my tools and jack, and went. The entire time I tried to show her something, she would say she isn't dumb and knew that, but still did hings like loosen an oil filter cap righty tighty instead of lefty lucy

The final straw was when we were planning a Thanksgiving dinner. I said we had to see, if anyone had any food allergies or restrictions. Then she cuts me off saying, "that's why there's a group chat, please and thank you."

She says she's struggling in life and apologizes for being the way she is sometimes, even giving acts of service. Yet my life isn't any better - I am literally going deaf and blind, the stress of my mental health issues has led to stomach ulcers so bad I taste my own blood, and yet I don't do this.

I snapped and said, "you don't have to talk down to me to make a point, especially in front of other people I've always respect you but when other people don't, you don't say anything. You're too comfortable talking to me like I'm dumb, because you know everyone else wouldn't put up with it. Unlike them, you know I wouldn't body shame you, slut shame, remind you how stupid you are with money, and the overall lack of appreciation of what you do for them. Fine, your life sucks and I try to empathize with you. At least take your frustrations out on yourself and maybe you'd be a better friend."

She started crying in a way I had never seen her do in 10 years. She apologized again but I was so filled with anger I just walked away. She texted me the other day saying she'd like to talk but I haven't responded. I am open to making peace and being friends, but I'm still mad.