So I work in the trades for a super small contractor that only employs me, our office manager/scheduler, and himself the founder and boss. My boss is a older guy in his 60’s that grew up in the eastern PNW of the USA and if you’ve ever met someone from this rural area they’re not the most sentimental, overly colorful and spirited people. They’re nice, but overall they’re pretty rigid which is fine with me especially when it come to working and just getting the job done. The office manager is also someone around they’re 60’s but they hail from NYC and they have a HUGE personality which is usually pretty cool since she can banter and have a good time, except when it comes to sentimental stuff. She quickly becomes way to much to handle, especially in a small work environment. For example prior to her being hired birthdays between my boss me and a few old coworkers were short and simple. Since her being here, she wants to leave early and go get a work birthday lunch and do cards and a bunch of other stuff that’s uncomfortable coming from a coworker. Now there’s me, I’m a 24 yr old dude who is a big time ambivert that prefers to compartmentalize my life. I tried to explain that I do appreciate her caring about bdays and holidays, but I personally don’t feel comfortable celebrating those with people I’m not close with since I’m still learning to appreciate them since I didn’t grow up with them being a major part of my childhood due to poor foster parents and so they still are overwhelming and a little insignificant in my eyes. But the world loves em, so I do celebrate with my brother and few other family members. Anyways, back in August before my birthday she said she understood and then told me she didn’t give a shit while laughing and letting me know my boss already approved us all getting off early so her and him could make me go get bday lunch with them. I was able to get over this and move on till now. With Xmas approaching fast she stated that she expects to do a gift exchange and this is my problem.

My boss over the months has allowed her to turn into a work-wife-mom figure hybrid where she attempts to boss us both around and my boss willingly allows it to happen. I talked to him last week about talking to her and telling her that I can’t be forced into anything and instead he responded how a husband might when playfully joking about not getting in trouble with the wife. I told her sternly over text once again I appreciate her care for our “small family” as she calls it, but we are simply co workers full stop. She got upset and pretty much made an open ended comment about making work uncomfortable for me if I don’t give in and said I’m being a cheap asshole for not wanting to go Xmas gifts for coworkers especially since it’s only 2 people. So AITA for not doing gifts?

*edit: She also claims that giving gifts to EVERYONE is the norm in NYC and doesn’t see it as a big deal. Is this true?

**She’s also made weird comments to me like asking if she can be my work mom since I remind her of having a son