For context I’m a chef and my wife runs the front of house at our restaurant, there’s a bartender who is the friend in question, we’ll call him A for the story.

Anyway, A had picked up a double and was understandably frustrated cause of a long day, that being said he was definitely taking it all out on everyone else, all night making comments to the guys on my line like “how does it take this fucking long for a side of noodles” which only makes their job worse cause now they have to with somebody yelling at them too. On one hand I see the frustration but on the other hand, we’re busy, the guys are slammed and my ticket times still aren’t even at 12 minutes. At the end of his shift one of the other servers was telling him what side work was his and he just lost it. He was being super rude, short and confrontational after that. Come to find out he didn’t do something right and another server asked “Hey A can you refill the ice for the morning crew?” And A started following the server around trying to argue with him and getting loud. Eventually I yelled at both of them to separate before I fire em both cause you could definitely hear them arguing from the lobby!

The situation progresses to A saying “I’m not doing my work what’s Mari (my wife) gunna do about it anyway, which is honestly where I get really fucking mad! Don’t go disrespecting my wife cause you’re not getting your way!

Anyway at the end of the night he pops in the office and says “hey I squashed the beef with the servers we good?” And my wife sent him home and told him he needed to cool off. Credit where credit is due he did call my wife and apologized to her, and being disrespectful on her shift.

The next time he saw me he was super confrontational and just said “what you don’t wanna talk to me anymore?!” I just looked over in the line and told him “I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with the fact that I’m essentially mad at you for throwing a fit and not owning up to it”

I haven’t spoken to him about anything that isn’t for work since, and I feel like an asshole for not trying to fix this cause he was my friend before all this happened, but I also feel like he shouldn’t just expect me to get over it! He was rude and disrespected, me, my line, my wife and our staff!

So AITA for not forgiving and forgetting? Or should he be trying to make it better?!

TLDR:friend had a hissy fit now I won’t talk to him

Edit: I’m more so mad at the fact that he apologized to my wife and foh but doesn’t feel the need to apologize to me or any of the guys on the line at all and expects us all to just be over it

Update: after the close I asked to talk to him in the office, layed out everything I had a problem with and capped it with “look man, I love you, as a person and an employee, but all this anger and negativity on the shift needs to stop! If something’s bothering you in the restaurant please let us know so we can help you! And if you’re dealing with personal shit just tell me you need to get some air and I’ll watch your tables! But let’s please never let it get to that again, because you really upset my guys on the line and I felt disrespected by your comments and volume in my kitchen”

He apologized to me, and I apologized to him for maybe not handling the situation the best either!

We hugged, and shut the restaurant down together.