I (40m) coparent a child (10f) with my ex-wife (36f). Our child has been diagnosed with problems with emotional regulation and autism and cannot handle difficult situations, such as death, well. Our child loves animals to a very extreme degree. My ex buys many many different kinds of pets for our child, many with a very short lifespan. She has at least 7 different species of animal in her care with multiple individuals of each species. Unfortunately, they die and when this happens it causes a lot of distress for our daughter.

I have asked my ex to stop doing buying pets so often as when one dies it is quickly replaced with another. I specifically stated that while I love our daughters passion for animal husbandry (and she is very good at this given her age) I feel that she needs to learn to regulate her emotions better and with having so many animals with such a short life span it makes it difficult for her. My ex’s response was just “don’t tell daddy.”.

I sent her another message about this.. and how I worry about our daughters mental health. Am I the asshole for making this an issue?

TLDR: daughter struggles with death and I am asking ex to stop buying animals that die so frequently to prevent distress in our daughter.