Here’s some background:

My dad passed away a month ago. He was one of the breadwinners of the house. It was me, my mom, and my dad. My mom is retired.

Now that my dad is gone, we can’t really afford to stay where we are with the huge loss in income.

My brother offered to let us stay with him for a bit while we get back on our feet. He lives in another state that is much less expensive. My mom is disabled, so I want to be with her to care for her. My brother has his own family to take care of.

So my mom and I bought plane tickets and have been throwing our stuff away/selling.

The event:

My brother called me recently and told me that wife isn’t speaking to him. So to punish her, he turned off her phone service.

I don’t agree with this. I think he treats her like a child and I’ve heard him say very nasty things to her. But he never seems to see that his words are hurtful and he always feels like he’s in the right.

He told me he wanted me to contact her on instagram since she’s not picking up for him. He said I need to call her on instagram, then put him on speaker phone so he can talk to her.

I told him I didn’t feel comfortable doing that. And I didn’t want to get in the middle of it. She doesn’t want to speak to him right now and I told him he should respect her boundary.

He got angry at me and told me that if I don’t do what he says, we can’t come and stay with him and to have fun being homeless. Then he hung up on him. He texted me and said his decision is final and that we are cut off from his life completely. He then called our mom and said if she doesn’t do what he asked me to do, she can’t see her granddaughter.

I feel this is a very extreme reaction.

But I’m wondering if I’m am the a******.