I and my partner have been together for three years, share a pet, and live separately. today, while we were strolling an local neighborhood with bunches of small businesses, we visited a shop that had secondhand electronics and DVDs. He noticed a game system priced at $280. Last year, I bought him a used system for Christmas from the shop. He had mentioned before that he was considering buying another used game system for my place so he could play when he stayed over. He brought it up again when we left the shop, saying he might purchase it in September for my house.

I responded by saying, “I don’t know… I feel like, and I mean this with no offense, but if you have the $280 to spend on a system for my place, I’d prefer it go towards repaying me for your half ($500) of our trip last spring than on an Xbox for my place. Sorry, I know, awkward, but it’s how I feel.”

Here’s the backstory: When we planned our trip, I bought the plane tickets and paid for the hotel because I had a credit card. He promised to Venmo me his share once he got paid. However, he was fired from his job due a miscalculation that cost his company money. I ended up covering the entire cost. Afterward, he was devastated and promised to repay me once he found a new job. I was supportive during his unemployment, and he eventually got a better job without debt from his unemployment period.

Understanding that it takes time to recover financially, I didn’t bring up the repayment. Five-six months later, he’s back to normal with no outstanding debt. I expected him to repay me eventually but I didn’t follow up, thinking he might have forgotten, that I love him, and I felt awkward with the transactional aspect. Although I’m not desperate for the money, I have property taxes going up and I’m going to have to budget to cover the difference. All is fine financially and I’ll cover it, but since he’s living 5 out of seven days with me bills have gone up too and it would help. I have zero resentment either way. I did not want it to be an issue. I love him.

When I told him I’d prefer he use the $280 to pay me back for the trip (he promised to split) instead of buying the Xbox, he responded with a deadpan “Ok.” 10 minutes later, he said he wanted to go home. I asked if something was wrong, and he said I shouldn’t have mentioned the money while he was “just passively talking” about the game system. On the way home, he checked his bank account and said he would pay me in full. I told him I’d be upset if he stretched himself financially to pay me back immediately. He earns $47K, while I earn $55K, and with his bills and rent, it would be tight for him this month with $500 suddenly gone. He then accused me of tracking his spending, which isn’t true, and insisted on repaying me immediately. He became passive-aggressive and gave me the cold shoulder the entire evening. Isolating himself and straight up upset with me.

I’m frustrated by his reaction. I didn’t bring up the issue aggressively or use it as a weapon; I just wanted to be honest. I feel hurt. AITA?