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WIBTA if I attended a friend’s bachelor party instead of my wife’s grandmother’s funeral?
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NTA you’re being thoughtful about this. Agree with the posters that say don’t even ask directly. I don’t think you’d get the real answer and things may change once she’s there and wishing you were there. Even if you go to the funeral and it doesn’t seem like it was meaningful for your wife, it’s the right thing to do. Also, unless she’s a polished public speaker, that kind of thing can be nerve wracking. Even if you eat some costs, your life will be better. Invite the boys to Vegas or something next March madness, they’ll go and you’ll have just as much fun.
I saw some people suggest trying to cram both events in. You will feel rushed at both. Be there for your wife fully and have fun with the boys fully some other time.