I 25f and 26m husband are currently pregnant with our second baby. Our first baby is about to be 10 months. Our families didn’t take our first pregnancy well. My husband’s family was a smidge excited but my family wasn’t. We FaceTimed our parents to tell them the news the first time and my parents faces dropped to frowns. After that they made passive comments about it as well. When my parents found out it was a girl a lot of things were said including that my husband “wasn’t family “. After that they lied and told everyone they had to buy us everything for the baby (they bought the wrong size car seat and that was it).

I had to have a virtual baby shower because we lived in a completely different state than either of our families. When my sister confronted my parents about not sending anything for the shower they said “I had 9 months to get everything I needed”. When my parents came up for the delivery they harassed me about the part of my family that I don’t speak to saying “I had to be the bigger person and tell them because they didn’t want to be the bigger person and reach out”.

After having my daughter I set up multiple boundaries with them including the fact that it’s not my responsibility to make sure people are in my daughter’s life just like my dad did with my birth moms family. Now my husband’s family was of course in love with my daughter but over time they barely reach out and ask about her.

The most they do is comment on the pictures I post about how much they miss her but they never actually reach out to see her (we live states away but they don’t ask to FaceTime). Not to mention both sides don’t like her name and won’t respectfully say it. They both made up the same nickname for her which she doesn’t respond to because no one else calls her that. At some point I believe my stepmom forgot what her name even is since she now just refers to her as “granddaughter “ not even the effort to say the dumb nickname. She has a very unique name but it’s not hard to pronounce.

Both sides made my first pregnancy kind of miserable. They both would say “it’s no longer about you anymore “ but at the end of the day it wasn’t ever about my daughter either. This made things very stressful for me and they both like to lecture everything we do with our lives.

Currently things aren’t perfect but we’re safe and sheltered and fed and have what we need. I know mentioning another baby would mean getting our phones blown up. I want to actually enjoy this pregnancy and focus on my own family which is why I don’t plan on telling them until maybe 8 months pregnant or until the baby is actually here. AITA for wanting that kind of peace from them?