My (36 M) brother Atishay (37 M) had his first child recently, but she passed away due to crib death. They've been distraught about it, including my sister-in-law.

A few months later, my wife Riya (33 F) got pregnant with our child, and it turned out to be a daughter. For our naming ceremony, we selected the same 'Karthika' after much discussion.

When I informed Atishay and my sister-in-law about it, he seemed startled/shocked, and told me "That was what we were going to call our daughter." I did not know that, so I said sorry for bringing up that topic accidentally.

He demanded that I change the name immediately. I said that I cannot do that. This discussion was on the same day that the ceremony was supposed to be held. I was not supposed to inform anyone about what name we were going to assign the child (as per Hindu tradition), but they pestered me a lot & I gave in. I said that I am not going to change when the ceremony was going to be held in a few minutes, especially since that would be inauspicious.

They began to accuse me of doing it deliberately, called me horrible, etc. But I did not relent & went ahead with it.

The ceremony's over now, and it's her legal name. But they're demanding that I change the gazette to name her something else and were calling me names again. I told them that it's too much to demand such a thing, and asked them to fuck off. They're not talking to me now.

AITA?