So a little backstory, my mom is a very demanding person and has been very manipulative over the years. My wife and I have been married a little over a year now. In September, my mom had a minor stroke. I spent the following month working from my parent's home during the day and taking care of my mom until she felt well enough to be on her own. This year, since my mom wasn't in a good place to want to cook, and my grandma didn't want to cook, they decided to go to a restaurant on Thanksgiving day which would leave us with Waffle House or Chinese for dinner.

My wife and I decided this year that we wanted to do our own thing for Thanksgiving Day. Our nephew's birthday is on Black Friday, and my mom's birthday is on the 27th. With all the chaos over the last few months, we thought it might be nice to just have a day where we have no obligations to anyone and a small feast for ourselves. A nice romantic holiday with watching the parade, good food, and maybe the movies later that day. Not only would this be a day for us, it would give us more options for restaurants.

When my wife floated this idea in the group chat with my parents, both of them left her on read for a few days. My mom finally responded that she can't believe that we would abandon them on Thanksgiving. That we were just being hurtful and selfish. When I told her I didn't appreciate the guilt trip, she responded that she wasn't guilt tripping, and that she could guilt trip us by bringing up gifts that we "never thanked her for", even though we did several times.

This argument has been going on for almost two weeks. She even messaged me to rehash it. I don't feel like I should back down, because we didn't do anything wrong. So what do you think Reddit? AITA for wanting a little autonomy over our holiday plans?