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AITA for asking my gf to not bring up a topic?
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My (45m) child "A" (19nb) recently moved states to live with me while they got their fitting into adulthood. I've been seeing "B" (47f) for three months and A expressed interest in getting to meet B, and we agreed on meeting up Sunday afternoon.

I was filling A in on the various things B was currently doing such as putting up Halloween decorations, trying to fix her kids' bikes, organizing her garage, and (the key piece) doing some kind of art project as part of a wedding party which involved getting old paintings from thrift stores and using them as a base to add more painting to.

A is big into art, and I thought a project like that would intrigue them. I was way off, and they seemed offended that someone would paint over someone else's work. So, when talking to B on Sunday morning, I asked that the topic of the art project not be brought up, at least during their first meeting.

A couple hours later, B messaged that she needed to cancel our plans as it was getting too late (it was 2 in the afternoon). She later messaged saying she thought we should break up because she didn't want to be with someone who tried to control what she could and couldn't say. I tried explaining that I just wanted their first interaction to go smoothly, and I'd just asked for that one topic to not be brought up on just that occasion. So, AITA?

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YTA A has already partially decided to dislike B because they find the art project offensive. The first impression has already been tainted unfortunately, forbidding the topic won't change that. But they could've had a nice discussion about it and explored eachothers view. This isn't a highly ethical with real life and death consequences such as gay rights where its not up for debate. It's a low stakes disagreement that talking about could bond them. B's reaction may seem over-the-top but it's less about this specifically and more the message you've sent now which is "rather than make my child act like an adult and face contrary opinions I will make you tiptoe to avoid anything that upsets them" which is absolutely not something anyone wants long term

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1 year ago