My wife (37f) and I (38m) have 3 kids, 12, 10, and 8. She is in a constant state of overwhelm and very easily irritated, constantly complaining how it's all too much. I'm of course happy to help and do my fair share for the kids or household, but it's never enough because her standards are too damn high.

She insists one of us has to be up at 6:45 every morning to make sure the kids are ready and make the bus which comes at 7:45. I told her they're old enough to not need that much help already. They can all dress themselves and pour themselves cereal and milk, there's no reason we have to be up. She says that cereal isn't a good enough breakfast, they need something more substantial, especially the 12 year old, and that the 10 year old has adhd and will definitely struggle without help in the morning and anyway she wants to see them off and kiss them goodbye for the day. So she gets up, I don't, then she gets upset that I never give her a morning off when all she needs to do is just take the morning off when she wants and let the kids handle themselves.

Also she is super strict about screen time during the week and is exhausted and snappy from arguing about it with the kids and upset i don't support her strict limit of 2 hours a day. I say as long as homework is done, why not until bed. She says it's not healthy for them, they need to play outside or with games and toys, read some books, just entertain themselves in more ways than 1. I agree they should enjoy other things but not seeing why we have to make such a rigid limit. She also likes to get out on weekends and do stuff like zoos, museums etc, but then complains about the planning for the outing and how grouchy the youngest gets by the end of it, and again, I say let's just chill at home and voila, you've cut the work!

I'm an engaged and active parent, I'm not trying to get out of it, but I don't think I should have to help my wife dig herself out of her own self created holes. She creates the stress for herself and then turns to me to alleviate it which I think is unfair. AITA for telling her she needs to do less and then she won't need this level of help?