My wife (27F) and I (30M) are expecting our first child early next year. My mom (63F) is super excited and will probably be traveling across the country for the birth. It's her first grandchild.

When I was a kid she was a regular smoker but she quit when I was in college using the medication Chantix. A few years ago after almost 10 years without smoking, she was dealing with a lot of stress with my younger brother having issues in college and started smoking again. Everytime I bring it up she's said it's temporary and that she plans on quitting but hasn't made much effort to quit. I know it's hard and I'm not judging her for it, but I really want her to quit because it's bad for her and it's unpleasant to be around.

With the kid on the way now, it also presents a new issue. I know she won't smoke around the baby, but honestly I don't really even want to expose the baby to the after effects of smoking - it stinks up her car (she even smoked in a rental car last time she was in town), clings to her clothes, and you can smell it on her breath. I told her I'm hoping she can quit before the baby is due because we don't really want to expose the baby to those after effects and she accused me of basically extorting her by using access to her grandchild to get her to stop. I love my mom and won't deny her access to her grandchild because of this - I even told her that wasn't my intent and that I was asking hoping she'd really prioritize quitting given the new consideration. I can definitely see how it might have come across that way particularly given she said she'd never smoke around the baby, but at the same time really want her to stop smoking. AITA?