My (30M) girlfriend (27F) is really into knitting and has been long before we started dating 3 months ago. At first it didn’t bother me and I thought it was cool she had a hobby but then I realized just how much she does it.

Granted, she’s not pulling out the knitting hook at dinner or anything but it seems anytime we’re watching TV together or just hanging out at her place she’s always working on some project. She said she needs to keep her hands busy and it’s like fidgeting for her, but I severely doubt that she can be fully present. You don’t have to pay attention when you fidget and she literally always jokes that she doesn’t know how to count. She claimed it’s not all the time… but it’s definitely more often than not. She argued that she can follow TV show plots just fine but when I quizzed her on some details she couldn’t answer some of the questions sooo… I think my point stands. Then she said “If it’s an important conversation I obviously put my work down” but I think we have different definitions of what important means.

I also told her I would like to be able to cuddle and physically interact with her during TV time. She said we can still cuddle but it’s literally not the same? I want her to be interested in me, not some pile of yarn.

This might be petty but I think I might feel better about it if she knitted things for me, but it always seems to be bags or clothes for herself or like random squares. She did make a pretty cute toy for my dog though, that was actually nice.

Anyway I sat her down the other day and told her my perspective, and instead of being willing to compromise, she told me that I’m the one that’s not listening to her and essentially called me an asshole.

She’s a great girl and I don’t want to lose her over this but also not sure what to do. AITA?