I (30NB) have Rheumatoid Arthritis, Sjogren's Syndrome and I get motion sickness from riding in the car, I get debilitating dull headaches and I feel nauseous, usually when I drive I am fine. I was diagnosed with RA and SS back in 2020 and it has been difficult to deal with physically and emotionally since then, I take medication to manage my symptoms for my autoimmune diseases and for the most part the medication works but I get flare ups regularly and they can be quite debilitating, the symptoms I experience most are pain in my joints and muscles, dry eyes, dry mouth, and chronic fatigue, I have missed out on a lot of activities because of these conditions including family gatherings, seeing friends, going on dates etc, I do go to see family and friends when I am feeling well enough I kind of see it as battery power, some days I am feeling like I'm on 10% and it sucks, and on good days I am at like 75% but I am never 100%.

I live with my father and he is anti-health science/anti-vax, he is not very supportive of my health situation, sometimes blames me for having these issues, and only acknowledges them when he is downplaying my symptoms at the same time saying that my aunt who has lupus is worse off than me because she is older and lupus is worse apparently, me being young means I should have more energy to be able to do things as we used to do.

Mothers day comes around and it is planned that we are to see my grandparents, my grandmother is in her mid 80s, my grandfather is in his early 90s and not doing too well, they both know I have these issues and they tend to be more supportive, my grandmother giving me advice on how to manage my symptoms from time to time some of the advice works some does not I still appreciate that she is looking out for me where my father does not.

I told my father that I was not feeling well and that I don't think I am up to go this time, I was feeling quite fatigued, and my joints were on fire, I took an ibuprofen earlier but it didn't help much, and I was worried about how my motion sickness was going to probably exacerbate my already garbage feeling, he looked visibly upset, told me that my grandparents aren't going to be around for much longer and that I should deal with it and come along, I ended up not going, I slept for most of the day and had 0 energy to do much, when my father got home he completely ignored me for the rest of the day and night, the next day he called me selfish and an AH for not sucking it up and going, I feel bad and guilty that I didn't go, should I have just ignored with my symptoms and gone to see them? AITA?

(Edited to make it easier to read.)