My parents had a daughter before me, Summer. She was born with cancer and died when she was only 5 weeks old. I was born 2 years later and her memory was very strong throughout my life. My parents weren't great parents to me because they were still in very heavy grief and it made our relationship complicated. I remember they cried on her birthday every year and they also cried on most of mine and she was mentioned at every celebration. I remember for a while really wanting to hear more about her but at some point all the mentions of her were too much, it felt suffocating and I felt less important. When they'd meet new people Summer was the child they mentioned first, and the one they talked most about. Someone would ask what grade I was in or how old I was and they'd say Summer would be in fourth grade or Summer would have been 13 today. When I graduated high school I asked that my parents not to mention Summer during the celebration after (we had a dinner with family and a couple of my friends but not a full blown party) and they were so angry at me for wanting Summer forgotten. I took some time from them in college but was wracked with guilt and we ended up back in touch.

I got married to my husband Cael last year and now we're expecting a girl. My parents brought up how amazing it would be for us to name our daughter Summer and my husband was 100% on board. He was pretty much agreeing before I had a chance to react. When I did talk to him he was shocked I had any doubts and was ready to go full steam ahead. I told him I wanted our daughter to have her own name and I didn't want her to carry the weight of the Summer who never got the chance to grow up, and so was all her grandparents really wanted to talk about. He said he understood but to think of how loved our daughter would feel. And he knows I think Summer is a beautiful name, because I do. But the history.

I told my parents I wanted my daughter to have her own name and they cried. They didn't really comment. They then asked was I going to change my mind (this was a few days after) and I said no. But then my parents and husband were talking and wanted to try and change my mind. They brought a list of pros to me on why our daughter should be Summer and I told them I disagreed with the list, they argued back and told me Summer deserves to be honored. I said my daughter deserves to live life as herself. Cael said she would still be able to and the name isn't that uncommon that my sister would be the only person to think of. My parents told me to think of what my sister would want and how I love my sister and miss her every day. For some reason that broke me. I started to cry out of nowhere and told the three of them I did not want to name my daughter after a sister I never knew. I'm not totally sure what happened directly after I was so upset. But Cael and my parents think I was cruel to say it like that.

AITA?