Done on phone and english not my first lang

I'm (m28) getting married in the summer and as traditions go, theres gonna be a bachelorparty. Originally me and my future wife thought about having joint parties together. Just some lighthearted fun, barbeque, games etc. Our friend groups are pretty well mixed too, so it would've been the optimal way to go.

However, my brothers had talked between themselves about throwing a BP for me and my older brother called me to discuss about it. He sounded upset when I told him about the aforementioned plans, and me being a people pleaser and completely lacking a spine decided to indulge him, just to know what they had planned. He asked what kind of party I would like: quiet, loud, bars, cabin, barbeque, any activities, who I'd like to be there and so on. I told him how I'd prefer something quiet and calm, with food and drinks and maybe some activities like paintball or bowling. He promised to follow my wishes while planning. We agreed on few limits like no public places, I don't want to talk to strangers and absolutely no strippers. The limits are because of my introversion, just so I'd be comfortable. Thus plans were changed, wife was ok with it.

Enter stage my father. We've always had a pretty amicable relationship, although I do dislike him alot. And the reason is he acts like he knows me better than I know myself, or that he knows exactly what I want, need or like. We have highly different views on many things, but not in his mind though and there's been plenty of times when we've bashed our heads together because of what he "knows."

When I told him what me and brother had discussed, and that I was happy they weren't planning on doing humiliating or embarrasing things to me. My father just laughed and said that "it doesn't matter what you want." I really don't know whether he was joking or not, but he was humiliated alot in his BP and I guess he wants to carry along that tradition. I almost brushed it aside pinning it on his sense of humor, but one of my childhood friends said the same thing when I asked him how the plans were coming along. Hearing it said to me twice has me concerned. Also this friend said the BP is coming along well since my father has taken the lead.

This part is purely hypothetical, but will I be the asshole if I leave the BP if they've concocted something that breaks the limits I kindly asked them to have. I know this could've been avoided if I had more backbone, but I will not stand to be humiliated for the fun of others, my self esteem is low enough already. I know it would inconvinience all the friends invited there if I left and all their plans would've been pointless. I also feel like I would be acting pretty entitled, but then again I've never found humiliating others, nor any loud parties fun. And if my friends, brothers and father don't yet know it after all these years, I'd be pretty disappointed.