So this is a “Would I Be The Asshole”.

My daughter is turning 5 in a couple weeks. I got pregnant with her when I was 19, and her father has never met her or been involved. I reached out to his parents when my daughter was 8 months old, they had no idea we existed. Since then, they’ve been wonderful and helpful to us and love her, she also has an aunt and little cousin who is only 4 years older than her.

My mother is extremely jaded against these people, despite they did nothing wrong and have only been great to us. I keep things separate to avoid upsetting her but I’ve mentioned a few things, like going out to eat or shopping with them and she starts crying and being upset/angry at them. I get that it was a hard time, but it’s been so long. It’s hard for me to not have her approval but I also recognize I’m a grown woman, married with 3 kids and these people are my daughter’s family and are great to us.

I wanted to have her birthday party at a trampoline place, and I wanted to invite her grandparents and her aunt and cousin so she could have her whole family together to celebrate her. It’s hard to reconcile this with my moms emotions because I don’t want to be insensitive. We also had to have 2 separate christmases because she doesn’t care for my husband’s father (he’s fine just doesn’t have a filter at times, but he’s not obnoxious or obscene), which annoyed me because I don’t want my kids to have split holidays every single year.

Would I be the asshole if I invited her biological grandparents to her birthday party even if my mom didn’t like them?