throwaway for obvious reasons.

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i (23f, blonde hair, massive tits) recently got married to my husband (48m, 6’11) at a quiet ceremony of only around 200 people, since we were operating on a tight budget of only 500,000 bosnian convertible marka (i am not american). this is because my husband (48m, very attractive) and i (23f, 100lbs) were both self-made millionaires by the age of 20, so we couldn’t afford a huge ceremony.

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i (23f, petite) opted to wear the same dress my mother (47f, still alive) got married in; a long, white, lacy dress. when i (23f, 20in waist) walked down the aisle wearing the dress (24f, custom lace trim), i couldn’t help but notice that my husband’s (48m, 10% body fat percentage) mother (44f, 2.5 metric tonnes, disgusting fatty) was also wearing a dress (0f, likely brought from walmart) - i had no choice but to come to the conclusion that she (44f, abusive) copied me (23f, humanitarian aid worker in my spare time) out of spite and jealousy. her (44f, gaslighter and manipulator) dress was extremely similar to mine - it was made out of fabric, had sleeves, and even had a zip on the back. if that wasn’t enough proof that she (44f, currently unemployed due to a hip injury that was in no way caused by me) had copied me (23f, blood type a-), she (44f, 130bpm resting heart rate) was even wearing shoes and a handbag! i suspect she (44f, 582 credit score) deliberately tried to take attention away from me (23f, bmw driver) because she was jealous that i am so naturally petite and beautiful and her husband (61m, dead) wants to sleep with me.

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i calmly explained to her that she had ruined my wedding and she was a disgusting lard-ass and she should kill herself, and she feigned shock (as a manipulation tactic) and just looked at me and didn’t say anything (giving me the silent treatment, very abusive). i had no choice but to try and de-escalate the situation, so i calmly dragged her by her hair and lightly curb-stomped her. my husband called the ambulance and the cops (taking his mother’s side like always, possibly because he wants to sleep with her).

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when the cops (29m and 35f) arrived, they told me in a threatening tone that they were ‘arresting me on suspicion of grievous bodily harm’. i calmly explained that they were gaslighting me because i didn’t do anything wrong, and they should be arresting my mother-in-law for starting the whole thing and ruining my wedding.

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so reddit, aita?

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edit: had to remove my mother-in-law’s full legal name, date of birth, home address and place of work, since she is now blowing up my phone and threatening legal action.