My husband (43m) suddenly had a new bf (37f) about 5 years ago. During covid this person became a part of the bubble and she was at our house a lot, became friendly with the kids and I was expected to accept them. I always had suspicions, kicked off a few times over little things between them but always accepted husbands pleas the they were just friends. A few years ago I found a message to her telling her how gorgeous she is and that he loves her also various other inappropriate messages and he assured me it was just advice he was just being a friend and I accepted that. We've since been on numerous holidays together, celebrated different event birthdays etc.but the other morning I saw a message from her telling him she loves him, kiss face emojis and calling him darling. When I confronted him he told me it was just a term of endearment. I messaged and asked why she was sending that to my husband of over 20 years and got nothing. I've told him I'm done, our marriage is over. Am I overreacting?

UPDATE To reply to some of the comments no this is not fake this is my life at the moment and the reason I ask if I'm overreacting is that he is making out that I am and making me doubt myself.

I won't be telling him to pick either me or her because I can't trust him to cut ties completely and some of his behaviour this week has shown me exactly where I am in his priorities and that is at the bottom of the heap.

Yes I know I've been stupid but after being married for 15/16 years (together for 20) at the the time she came into our lives I thought I could trust him. 🙄 we have had many arfuements about things that have happened and he's always made out like I'm crazy, I'm imagining things or even it's my fault.

He is still in my house at the moment, our tenancy has come to an end and I've told him I'm looking for somewhere for me and the kids and he should find somewhere to go. I get the feeling he doesn't think I will do it because now he is ignoring me like he normally does after an argument. He goes to the friends house a couple of nights a week and still went this week even though I suggested he give it a miss so we can talk. That was one of things that made me realise I am definitely not a priority.