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I appreciate that movies are subjective and that there are people out there who loved this movie. The reviews are all pretty good. Your mileage may vary. If you're a super big fan of the series like I am and you loved this: I'm very happy for you that you had that experience. Unfortunately I can't quite get there. This may be just me coping a bit and venting because my expectations were maybe admittedly too high but perhaps there are others out there who felt similarly:
Here's what I REALLY didn't like. This is the stuff that ruins the movie for me:
- The Ian Holm/Ash connection/cameo was bad. The CGI was bad enough to be distracting. I know this is a SFX complaint and not necessarily a plot or character complaint but ugh, I just thought it looked so bad and was ultimately unnecessary. Beyond the CGI being distracting, his presence there was distracting because it wasn't just a cameo. It was a fairly major plot device/character. It could have been anyone or anything. It didn't have to be Ash.
- The whole connection to Prometheus / Covenant. I hate Prometheus and Covenant. I think they're so bad for the series. This ridiculous stuff with the black goo is dumb. If you love Prometheus / Covenant, you'll probably like this, but I just hate it and I hated seeing it. Once I saw that black goo in there I just said oh shit they're going in this dumb direction.
- All of these characters were fairly one dimensional and forgettable. Honestly I saw the movie yesterday and if you held a gun to my head I couldn't name any of the characters right now except for Andy. in writing this review, I've had to look up some names. I didn't feel any connection to them like I did to Ripley, Parker, Lambert, Hudson, Hicks, etc.,
- The Xeno/Human/Enginner Hybrid thing was goofy and dumb. It was goofy and dumb in Resurrection (which is the worst film in the series) and it's goofy and dumb here. Again, if you love Prometheus / Covenant, maybe you like this, but I don't like this whole weird origin of the Engineers and the Xenos that those movies created. The books and comics explored this 20, 30,, etc., years ago. I just don't like this version of it. Your mileage may vary on this one.
- And this for me is why the whole ending is just bad. Same shtick as Resurrection basically with a goofy final fight/battle that ends basically the same way.
- Maybe I'm dumb or maybe my brain just switched off when Ash/Rook started talking but I just didn't really understand what happened here. They retrieved the Xeno that Ripley killed (or didn't kill I guess?) even though she blew it out of the goddamn airlock and zapped it with the ship's thrusters but it was somehow alive? Okay, assuming that's even possible and suspending disbelief and it was somehow alive.. where did the eggs and the face huggers and the black goo come from? Major plot hole here unless I just missed something.
- And another last thing about the black goo. If the implication here is that WY has known about the black goo since at least the time of the first Alien (and presumably before because of Prometheus/Covenant) it's weird that it never comes up again in any of the subsequent films seeing as how it's apparently very important to them. It doesn't come up in the subsequent films, of course, because it didn't exist when those films were made, which is another reason why I hate the whole retconning of stuff to jam this major plot device into it. Because maybe it wouldn't have come up in Aliens or Alien 3 but it sure as hell woulda/shoulda come up in Resurrection.
Here's some nitpicky stuff I didn't love but is probably fine and honestly just me being a hater:
- I didn't like the young cast. Maybe they wanted to get a younger audience engaged but these are all like 20 year old kids and that changes the tone of the movie from one thing to another. Like it ceases to become a serious movie in my opinion and just becomes a cookie cutter kids horror movie set in space instead of a summer camp.
- The pacing is off. The movie's runtime is just about the same as the OG Alien but it takes time getting to the action (about 30 minutes before anything really happens) and it felt draggy. By contrast, the infamous dinner scene in Alien doesn't happen until nearly an hour in. For some reason, that doesn't feel as much of a slog to me as this does. I don't know if attention spans are just much shorter now or if filmmakers today aren't as good at setting the tone and building the story as they used to be but I was checking my watch here. By contrast, I could watch the original Alien or Jaws or something like that and not feel as antsy about "getting to the point." The slow build is really good in Alien and Jaws but here it just didn't feel that way to me. There seemed to be a good opportunity in the beginning to build towards the second act and I just didn't feel like they did a good job.
- As a nerdy nitpick, there's a lot of "eh" stuff that bothered me. The girl who gets facehugged is facehugged for like 2 minutes before they manage to get it off her but she's somehow implanted anyway compared to like everyone else in the series who's ever been facehugged where it takes longer. Like, okay fine, but then it hatches like 5 minutes later. Way too short. Again, they had more than enough time to make something a bit more frightening and tension building but they rushed it here. And then the Xeno in this weird vagina cocoon thing which, again, fine I guess because that type of sexual imagery is a nod to the first one and to Giger's work I guess but still was too quick in my opinion.
- The idea that aliens/facehuggers track by sound and heat is.. sure, that makes sense. But the notion that you can simply make a room 98.6 degrees and become invisible is dumb. This assumes that a person is a constant 98.6 degrees, which they're not. This would also probably render Kane invisible in the first Alien since he's wearing a presumably airtight, pressurized, heat-shielded spacesuit when he's attacked and his heat signature would be masked. But.. again, whatever. It's as good an explanation as any I guess. It also relies on people being able to move silently which is not likely but go on.
- Tons of Easter Eggs and fan service galore. This is a good thing most of the time but at a certain point some of them also get a little cheesy. Andy saying "Get away from her you bitch" felt too silly. The main character "signing off" the same as Ripley at the end felt cheesy to me. She's also not the last surviving member since Andy is there but I guess he's not technically "alive" but, you know whatever.
- The whole space station being this nod to Roman mythology (Romulus / Remus) was just sorta... there. Like, there's no reason why it's there, it just is. And they didn't really explore the station or the origins or anything. It felt like the kind of thing that might have been important but just wasn't.
- Weird plot holes and bad decisions.
- The pregnant lady deciding to inject herself with the black goo felt like a really dumb decision, especially considering she wasn't even there and/or was passed out during the entire discussion of what the black goo was. I mean I get desperation of feeling like you're going to die and everything but.. really dumb.
- This is presumably the most important thing WY is doing right now and apparently this group of kids are the only people who realize that this very important space station is floating right above the goddamn WY colony? Like, they found a ship that was destroyed 20 years ago floating through the voice of space but they can't find the very important station right overheard?....Okay.
- The ship they arrived in gets tossed around like a rag doll, smashes through stuff, causes a few minor explosions, etc., and is still... some how 100% okay to fly so they can get away later? No damage that needs repairing? Just a-okay to now make a 9 year flight to wherever they're going? Oh okay.
- I get that Rain feels the need to go back for Andy and we needed the "Ripley going back for Newt" moment (apparently we needed that) but... yeah, that's just a bad decision if we're being honest. He's an android. I get she feels like he's her brother and all but he's not. He's an android. This isn't so much a plot hole or a bad decision as much as it is a nitpick but.. dude, just get out of there. Like, leave.
Not to be 100% negative, here's a few things I did like:
- The actor playing Andy was very good. It's still not immediately clear to how an Android like Andy is basically a mentally handicapped person with poor motor skills but... you know, whatever. I'm assuming their "dad" wasn't a very good scientist/engineer and couldn't program him any better but in any case, I thought the actor was very good and was the standout performer of what was otherwise a pretty weak cast in my opinion. I hope he gets more roles after this as I'd like to see him again.
- I thought they did a good job with the timeline of when the movie is set, making the technology perhaps a little bit better than Alien but not so far advanced that it wouldn't fit into where it was supposed to be. The movie itself looks more advanced than Alien (because it was made 40 years later lol) but they did a good job with the props and setting such that it could realistically be set only 20 years after the first one.
- The fan service / easter eggs / callbacks: There's good stuff there. I know I nitpicked a few of them earlier, but I think in general there's some good stuff here that fans will like and it felt like a love letter to fans from a director who truly does enjoy the films.
All in all, if this was not an Aliens film I probably would say yeah, not bad. 7/10ish. As a part of the Aliens series? I don't like it. Not even counting Prometheus and Covenant, of the core 4 (now 5) movies, Resurrection is the worst, followed by Romulus, then Alien 3, and then flip a coin for whether Alien or Aliens is the best of the bunch.
If you loved it, I'm very happy for you. I'm glad you got (presumably) what you wanted out of it. I'm not sure what I wanted to expected but I was left wanting, unfortunately.
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