For starters, I really have to acknowledge that no one really owe us anything the same way we don't owe anyone anything. However, I'm just really tired this week. I'm just constantly disappointed I guess. For quite a while now, I guess, especially with my expectations. It can be pretty hard to manage at times.

I guess I could start with a love I couldn't have? It started one night when I read her Nick Joaquin's May Day Eve. From there we had a good chat and all. I thought that call would only be good for one night until it turned every night. Eventually we became honest with our feelings. I believe we're good for each other. Too good. Faith counts. Unfortunately, we come from different religions. I mean, we could just choose to love now have it a problem for our future selves, then again, a problem is still a problem and in our predicament could be a painful one. Indeed, those who love truly are brave. We managed to keep the friendship anyway. I enjoy it. However, there are times that I feel terribly frustrated that she's not in life the way I want her to be but I know I can't force it.

Which now leads me to my second point. I tried recently to meet new people. I just can't connect unfortunately. I don't know am I that just much of a boring person or am I still anchored on a feeling? I don't know, I'm also tired of constantly getting stood up or getting rejected saying I look too cute and wholesome and precious to get hurt. Parang chicken joy daw na walang red flag.

Now I'm just tired. I hate having feelings.