Everyone has their own alcoholic story here. I could type my experiences in length but I’m going to share a quick summary and ask for some insight.

My dad died 4.5 years ago, and my mom is so sad and has since become an alcoholic. She almost died falling asleep in a hot tub, has gotten a DWI, had major stomach surgery for ulcers created by drinking and not eating… she doesn’t take care of her mental or physical health.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I can’t help her. I’ve pushed for therapy. She of course denies the alcoholism. But the constant abuse is becoming too much to handle. She looks for problems to scream about, says the cruelest and harshest most hurtful things, and then forgets the next day. Or apologizes and expects everything to be better.

Everyone else in my family has walked away. I am at my wits end, but I’m the only person in her life now. If I abandon her, she’ll kill herself. I’ve set boundaries on things I will not talk with her about or when I’ll talk to her (example — not answering phone after 9pm any night). But she doesn’t respect those boundaries and just gets angrier at me for trying to set them to begin with.

I feel like I can’t win. If I try to help, I’m the bad guy. If I’m absent, I’m the bad guy. If anyone disagrees with anything she says, we’re all “attacking” or “judging” her. An intervention would surely cause her to further isolate herself and drink herself into oblivion. But I can’t keep taking the abuse. I can’t keep being told I’m a disappointment.

My mom needs help. I’m the only person who is in her life anymore, and it falls on me to influence her to get it. I’m the last hope of her getting better and the pressure is weighing in me….

Any advice with communicating with an alcoholic? Or how I can shake these feelings of guilt that resonate in me every time I leave her to herself to deal with her emotions?