My (F24) Q is my ex boyfriend (M22); we dated for two years, lived together for 6 months (right after he shared with me that he’s an alcoholic), and broke up 3 months ago. We have not spoken since. I have my codependency issues that I’m working through, but for my own peace, I am also trying to find forgiveness for my Q. I am still pretty angry about a lot; he lied about engaging with recovery, told me weed was ok to smoke while in recovery (and ended up just developing a dependence on it as well), asked me to lie to friends and family for him, told me he was getting sober for me and guilted me into going against my best interest so that I’d keep living with him because he “needed [me] to stay sober.” A lot of what went wrong reflects choices that I made, albeit after being in a manipulative and isolating situation, but I own the fact that I played my role in the harm that was done. Like I said, I am working through my codependency issues. That said, he broke up with me, and during the breakup, essentially blamed me for his unhappiness and said my issues suffocated him. I was the rock for most of the relationship, but with the pandemic and us living together in college, my mental health took a big hit and so I was not in a good place by the end of the semester (which is when he broke up with me). That said, I’m quite sure that most of his unhappiness had very little to do with me and it almost feels like he was projecting. We were having some problems, but I know a lot about the things that made him unhappy over the last few months of us being together and it feels like he just blamed me for everything, when I know there was a lot I had nothing to do with. This has been upsetting and really painful and it’s been like a stuck point for me. I’m anxious because I’m going back to school tomorrow and I’m likely to run into him. I want to forgive him so that seeing him doesn’t phase me, but I feel like I can’t. It’s also really hurtful to feel like someone I cared so much about blames me for all of his problems. Any advice?