Hi All. My Q is my mother and has become a heavy alcoholic after my dad died 7 years ago.

To spare you all the details and get straight to the question, has anyone ever felt like their Q has just crossed the line of forgiveness?

When I imagine my Q in my mind sober and back to her old self, I no longer have any desire to communicate with her. I want the best for my mom and I want her to get clean and be happy, but after the experiences I’ve had and the relapses I’ve seen her go through, I feel as if keeping her in my life, even living a sober lifestyle, is just a risk to my own health.

To put this into context, I’m not trying to be dramatic. Being present for my mother has brought me to the brink of suicide on several occasions. As the years have gone on, my control over these thoughts has diminished and even if she’s entirely committed to sobriety, I cannot allow myself to return to this dark place ever again. Even maintaining a shallow surface-level relationship is too much a risk in my mind.

I can forgive the scars and genuinely love my mom but she’s become a liability, whether she’s sober or drunk.

Am I being selfish?