Family wedding. I’m 30F, my Q is my father, 67M. 46 people at my aunt and uncle’s place in the country. My aunt is his sister who financially supports him and has for years.

This weekend was the breaking point. Around 11pm when everyone was having fun and dancing by the pool, I walked back to the tool shed area to find an extra chair. Found my dad on all fours covered in his own shit. His story was that he was smoking and bending to put out his cigarette and then he fell and couldn’t get up and lost control of his bowels.

I went and got my aunt. She took him into the dog room/garage and removed his clothes and hosed him down while he was sitting in a chair, naked and incoherent, mumbling stuff about his clothes.

People cleared out of the wedding slowly as I found him towels and set him up a mattress with sheets so he could sleep on the floor in case he shat the bed that night.

No apology, no thanks, not even a scrap of humiliation the next morning as he had to face the 15 family members that stayed the night. No acknowledgement except for when I asked how he was feeling and he said “that’s just what it’s like getting old”.

Not to mention his teeth are getting brown and black and rotten up by the gums and he has mats and dead bugs in them at the back of his head.

If it weren’t for my aunt supporting him he’d be a homeless man. I’ll never forget the visual of him being hosed down this weekend naked slumped in a chair with an expressionless face. How was he not humiliated or apologetic or thankful?

I have lost my father. I feel sick with sadness and horror and pity. I keep seeing these images.