I went to my third local meeting on Wednesday, prior to that I visited my Q in the hospital along with my Mother and two teenage daughters. It was uncomfortable for the kids to see her in bad shape yet this wasn’t new to them, mostly they were just ready to leave. She has been an alcoholic for 10 years and terminally ill with liver disease for 5 of those, on and off of hospice three times. We gave her hugs and said our goodbyes like we have countless times before. I finished up my meeting with the group walked to my car, checked text messages, looked at social media and reflected on the meeting. I received a call, the one that I knew would eventually come but wasn’t really expecting. It was her father letting me know that she had passed. Not 4 hours prior I was talking to her about the need for her to go into a nursing facility, because she had become weakened. I never knew exactly how I would feel when the news finally came, I’ve had various mixed emotions from the start. I sat there in my car looking around with tears in my eyes, watching the people that had stuck around after the meeting, talking and getting into their cars. I wanted to roll down my window and let anyone know but I didn’t. It was a bit ironic that she would pass away as I talked to strangers about my hardships of living life with my alcoholic. I gathered myself enough to drive home to tell my girls that her pain was finally over. I woke up Thursday morning on the Fourth of July had a good cry as I posted pics of her for our friends and family to see. I’ll see my local group on Wednesday but it will be a different type of conversation.