That's the overall question I have at the moment. Does a Sober Living Facility (Oxford house) usually require a tenant to be fresh out of rehab?

That's what my Q is claiming. My Q is an alcoholic.

He replasped a month ago, threatened to kill himself in front of my kids, and got committed for 2 weeks. I told him he was no longer going to be staying with me as those were the boundaries to begin with. I was sticking to it. I told the psych ward. The hospital. His social worker.

He said he wanted to get into sober living, and there was about to be a huge freeze here. He couldn't get into sober living for 4 days, so the social worker convinced me to let him stay here for 4 days.

I talked to the Oxford house and told them he was clean from ever except weed, and they said that was ok. They would work with him for the first month til he was negative. We live in a legal state. Weed isn't what I would consider his addiction probablem, it's alcohol. Alcohol has ruined his life. But Weed is what is holding him back right now though . And maybe that's something he needs to cut out too. I don't know.

Then comes the day he's supposed to move in and my Q tells me the Oxford house changed their mind and he can't stay there til he's clean from weed too. So he needed to stay longer.

I thought the agreement was that he would stop smoking weed and get into the Oxford house in a month.

Then what do you fucking know? The month is over and I bring it up again, and not only has he not stopped smoking weed but now he's telling me that the Oxford house only accepts people out of rehab, not just people who need transitional housing and sobriety.

Is that true?

I don't believe it is, but I have no one to ask for sure.

But I told him regardless of the Sober living, he just got a good job and he will have 2 paychecks by the end of February and he needs to be out by then.

He told me it's not possible. That he's just going to be homeless at the end of February then.

I am trying to not be a complete bitch and tell him to pack it up right now.

Edited to add: I realized that I had a cell number of a tenant the closest Sober Living facility buried in my text messages, so I messaged him and asked him a couple questions. I want to post the answers here just in case anyone else googles it like I did. I couldn't find anything when I looked.

They all have their own rules, but this one said:

Q: Do you have to be coming from a rehab to be accepted into a sober living facility? A. No you do not have to be coming from a rehab. You just have to be able to pass their drug screening (and obviously continue to pass it to continue to live there)

Q: Do sober living facilities allow you to work past cerfew? Does sober living work with your work schedule? A: Yes. Communication is key. Work is the only exception to cerfew, but they will work with your work schedule if you communicate with them. They house people who work overnights too if they feel like they can trust you.

Tldr: Q is saying he can't move into sober living because they only accept people coming out of rehab / treatment. Even if he can pass their drug test...i found out this is not accurate by contacting one of the sober living facilities myself.