My Q "slipped" the other day. Those are the words of the rehab rep before she asked me if I still stood by my hard boundaries of not letting my Q live with me if he drank.

I feel like everyone expects me to just make it into a soft boundary all of the sudden.

The agreement was you can get your life together in my apartment if you stayed 100% sober from alcohol 100% of the time. Then he "slipped" and, in front of my daughter, threatened to blow his head off when I told him he broke our deal and he needed to find another place to stay immediately. Now he's in a psych unit til mid week.

Am I an asshole for not budging? Because I feel like one. And I feel like the rehab lady expected me to budge. My Q is threatening to live in the woods behind my house if I don't take him back in. He has the option of an Oxford house, but he said he would rather be homeless.

Why do I have to put all of my emotional energy and all of my physical effort into this making my life 10x worse when he won't go to an Oxford house because he would rather be homeless than stop smoking marijuana. That's honestly what it comes down to. I didn't even think that marijuana was an issue until now, I believed that alcohol was his issue, but now I don't know.

He's just making any excuse he can to not do the hard work it takes to make life work...

I have so many emotions, I feel sick to my stomach