I (18F) have a cousin (22M) who wants to move to Manila para makatapos ng college. Our family is originally taga-province, if it's any help. He’s been failing his chosen program for a bit now, and he’s convinced that switching locations will help him finally finish his degree. Sa pagkakaalam ko, kinausap na niya yung mother niya about this pero as it’s going to cost a lot—around 5 digits, hindi siya natuwa, lalo na kasi super mas mahal siya compared sa current educational situation ng cousin ko, which has been pretty hard on my tita kasi they're also already having problems in terms of their financial situation, which is mostly related sa pagpapaaral sa cousin ko na ito, which is why from what I last heard, ayaw nga talaga ni tita na sa Manila siya mag-aral kasi nga dagdag bayarin, eh this cousin of mine doesn't exactly have his own job or gets money from anywhere else except if hihingi from our family, especially pag merong events na he really wants to go to na malayo from where we live, he has to ask money just so he can go. Back to the situation at hand, new city, far away from where we currently live now, and the everyday basic needs aren't even counted in said estimation, such as rent, food, electricity, and the likes; it could cost more than 5 digits talaga.

The other day, nilapitan ako ng lola namin, kung pwede raw ba mahiram yung pera para sa pang-college ko, but I just received that amount back from another family member who I had lent it to for personal reasons. I had agreed to lend the money a year ago and, recently, kakabalik lang sa akin ng mga 90% nung inutang sa akin. This money came from constant ipon from the past few years ng pag-aaral ko. Now, I am being asked if I could lend about 80% of what I got back to my cousin for his education. 

I’m about to start college myself in a few months, and this money was meant to help sa pag-aaral ko lang talaga. I don’t want to sound selfish, but I’m scared na kung ipahiram or ipautang ko yung pera, biglang hindi ako makapag-college. Sure, state universities are always an option, but the nearest state university from where I live doesn't have the program I want, and alam ko na agad sa sarili ko na hindi ko maipapasa yung ibang programs na meron doon kasi number one, hindi siya aligned with my interests which may lead to me not enjoying it and mahihirapan lang ako in the end, lalo na sa paghahanap ng work if wala akong mareretain na information from it and number two, iisa lang yung college na meron nung program na gusto kong i-take sa province na I live in; the nearest other option would be kung luluwas ako, and I really can't afford to, not right now, especially since I am also struggling financially; If I were classified in the hierarchy of society, I would be in lower class. I know my cousin’s situation is difficult, and he has been struggling in his program for quite a bit now. He seems so convinced that changing universities and locations will help him complete it, but it really seems like this path may not be for him, given he has repeated a year or so in said college program due to not meeting the required units passed to go on to the next year of college. I’m not sure na I want to risk my future for someone na has been constantly failing to pass. I understand his frustration, really, but I also want a secure future, yung alam kong pinaka-sigurado na maayos yung magiging future job, future career ko, as much as possible. I want to talk about it with my family kasi napag-usapan na namin ito before to try to convince him na magpalit ng kurso, yung talagang kaya niya maipush and one that will help him finally graduate as it has been one of his greatest concerns, but he has been pretty adamant about finishing this program, even going as far to say na kung hindi raw siya makaka-graduate sa program na napili niya, edi wag nalang daw mag-aral.

I don’t want to disappoint my family, but I’m genuinely torn. Kung ipautang ko yung pera, I am putting my entire future at risk kasi halos lahat ng nakatabi na pera para sa pag-aaral ko sana, mauubos. I've been told na ibabalik naman daw possibly before enrollment, but hindi talaga raw talaga sigurado kung kailan siya maibabalik. Pakiramdam ko ako yung gago sa paningin ng family ko kasi I decided na hindi ko ipapautang yung pera, so I feel like I’m being selfish by not helping, but at the same time, I need to think about myself and my future, because everything from then on will rely on what job I will be offered, and we all know na if you finish college, you will be offered better opportunities and I don't want to deprive myself of that because is that not the bare minimum? I've talked to my parents about this, but so far they haven't given me any answers and lagi nila iniiba ang usapan.

Ako ba yung gago kasi ayokong ipautang yung pera na intended talaga para sa future ko?