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ABYG kung nasabihan ko yung gf ko na nakakarindi na siya?
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5 years na kami ng gf ko. Actually fiancee kasi na-engage kami a year ago. Mayroon siyang childhood issue na noong bata siya, hindi siya pinapakinggan sa household. Laking tita kasi siya at parang ‘black sheep’ ang turing sa kanya noon sa kanilang magpipinsan. Hindi niya daw na-express ang sarili niya noon kaya ngayon gusto niya lagi pinapakinggan siya.

Actually ilang-beses ng nangyari ito. Kaya niyang maglitanya nang paulit-ulit about 5-10 points sa loob ng 30 mins to 1 hour straight. Hindi mo siya pwedent iinterrupt dahil nga sa childhood issues niya. Ang gusto lang niya makinig ka.

So here’s what happened.2 weeks na kaming di magkikita. On the first weekend, nagkaroon ako ng matinding upper respiratory infection. This upcoming weekend, uuwi kami ng province dahil death anniv ng tito ko. For the context, she lives in Novaliches while I live in Alabang. She works from home in a night shift. I work in a hospital from morning until late afternoon/night.

Before that happened, nagmessage siya sa akin na gusto daw niya ng ganitong sapatos (I forgot the model pero definitely pricey). For the record, wala kaming pera pareho kasi nagkautang na kami dahil nagpprocess kami ng visa to be able to migrate. So I replied na sige bili tayo kapag nagkapera.

Naglilitanya siya kanina while we were on a video call habang pauwi ako kasi we promised daw to work on things. Na instead of taking it as a sign (yung sapatos) na ilabas siya (dahil stressed siya sa work recently), wala man lang daw akong initiative. She was saying hurtful things na parang pinaparamdam niya sa akin na walang akong kwenta at wala na siyang aasahan sa akin. Paulit-ulit lang sa point na mga yun while I was driving home from the hospital. 45 mins drive yun hanggang makauwi. Nung malapit na akong makauwi, I wasn’t able to help and ask kung ano bang gusto niyang gawin ko? Sabi ko nagkasakit ako tapos uuwi nga kaming province. I was so pissed of at that point. She was saying na she was just expressing things pero inaatake niya ko with her words. I wasn’t able to help but remark “sorry naririndi na kasi ako, paulit-ulit sinasabi mo”. I was trying to explain myself pero ugali talaga niyang sabayan ka sa pagsasalita hanggang magkabadtripan kayo kasi nga, I am just supposed to listen while she is speaking. Alam mo yun, you need to bottle things up hanggang dulo kahit naiinis ka na or naiipon na yung ideas mo. Ultimate test of mental fortitude.

ABYG kasi nasabihan ko siyang naririndi ako sa paulit-ulit na sinasabi niya?

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Imposibleng sa loob ng 5years hindi niyo napag usapan ang issue niya na 'yan.

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Imposibleng sa loob ng 5years hindi niyo napag usapan ang issue niya na 'yan.

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di ka gag*.

DKG the correct way to go about her childhood trauma is to make her learn effective communication. Hindi one way ang communication, she should also learn to be able to listen.

Instead of letting her talk by herself, mag practice kayo na salitan kayo ng ideas. May time siya mag explain, ikaw din may time mag explain.

Yung ganitong process yung better behavior therapy for her.

Im not a psychologist tho, psych grad lang lol

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2 months ago