This story was written 20 May 2017

I believe that Kink is a Journey of Self Discovery.

My wife, ember and I discovered our kinks together. She is submissive and I am Dominant. She is a masochist and I am a sadist. She is the ying to my yang. And until 2005, we had been monogamously kinky. We would fantasize about taking things out of the bedroom and adding other people to the mix – I am bisexual after all – but it never happened.

By 2005, I was done. Our marriage had been suffering for a year and I was putting a lot of energy into trying to make it work. But in mid-2005, I was done. I had to go out of town and as I left, I told her that I loved her and that I was done trying to fix our relationship on my own. I was tired and just done. She needed to decide: we either started living the life we talked about living “someday,” or we end things and move on.

The way that she gave me her answer was by sending me an email that had a login for an alt.com account in it. That was all.

We worked on our relationship and she had a main want: a baby; and I had a main want: that we would live out our fantasies now – that there was no more “some days.”

We joined a club in Tampa that was part kink and part swing and we started going to their social events. We’d meet people, chat a bit, play a bit on the equipment (I like to show off My ember and she likes to act like she is only showing off because I was “making” her show off). We’d get all hot and bothered and then head to the semi-private rooms for some hard-core fucking. We’d cum, then we’d drive home.

We began to work on her want too, it was not just about sex. But we needed some medical technology on that one, so it was destined to be a longer path that.

In 2006, I told ember that I wanted us to go to Fetish Con in Tampa. It was in August. We were D.I.N.K.s at the time (Dual Income, No Kids). I worked in Human Resources and she was a lawyer. I took the day off – Fet Con runs Friday to Sunday – and drove over earlier. I had a potential kink business in the works so I went over for some meetings in the morning.

Now, Fetish Con is a totally immersive experience. When I first walked in, I felt this giddy sense of home that I could not describe. But not any home I had ever known. This was an entire convention of freaks like me. And it took some adjustment for me. Now, you have to understand – I’m likely sex addict (but in a good way) and I am kinky as fuck. After an hour, I was ready to change out of my khakis and buy some leather pants!

So, I met up with the people I needed to meet up with and then I waited for ember to arrive.

She got there about 4PM and as she walked in in her business suit, I watched as her eyes showed fear, then wonder, then fear, then overwhelm. So I took her hand and said “come on, I picked out a dress for you to wear to the party tonight and I want you to try it on.” We walked up to the vendor and I showed her the dress. It was just the right mix of slutty and slinky. Just what a submissive sex slave might wear when on the prowl for some stunt cock.

She asked where the dressing room was. The guy smiled and said, right here. There was no dressing room. My conservatively dressed, submissive wife was mortified. I waited a couple moments to see if she would get undressed in the corner of his booth. No way. So we compromised: I gave him my credit card and he let us take the dress to the bathroom to try on. We loved it and bought it.

We bummed around the vendor area some more. At one point, as we were chatting, I noticed that she was no longer participating in the conversation because this muscular guy was chatting her up. He was younger than us, very muscular, shaved head, kinky and very outgoing. They were flirting heavily while his wife and I watched. I think ember knew then that she wanted to fuck him.

That night, she wore the dress, we went to a kink party at a goth bar, had fun with our new friends, but the right scene didn’t materialize, so we all went back to the hotel pool and got to know each other. We genuinely liked this couple. And we all had fun when the University of Tampa frat boys showed up and misunderstood what “consent” means as they put the moves on one of our new friends. Dizzy, my ember’s new friend, and I explained a bit directly that we were going to turn them into bottoms for his cane if they didn’t move on. They did.

After a while, ember and I retreated to our room, just the two of us, where we proceeded to fuck each other’s brains out. Including a bit of exhibition as I fucked her from behind with her mashed up against the window, facing out on the pool area below, which was still full of late night partiers. Good times.

The next day we hung out with our new friends and flirted a lot. Dizzy is very outgoing and soon we had quite a group of likeminded freaks. We told them that we were going to the kink-swing club we are members of and invited them to join us. They did.

When we got to the club, we picked a corner to play in, just the five of us (they had brought a play thing along that they owned). At one point, Dizzy and Starlight (his wife) were working on their plaything on one side of a cross while I worked on ember on the other side. Dizzy asked me if he could work on her. I said yes and stood back to watch him play her. He was very good in many ways, mixing the sadism with sexual touching and more. I started to have a flutter in my gut, but I couldn’t identify it and I thought, “well, we’ve never done this, maybe this is what this feels like.” He wrapped up and we took a break.

Dizzy is a switch and while he is a skilled sadist, his true love is being a pain slut. He can take amazing amounts of pain and his wife, Mistress Starlight is very skilled and creating a symphony of sensory experiences on his body.

As they started playing again, Starlight tied him, standing up, to a rack. He was in boxers only and she was working him over well. As we watched, my inner sadist got to thinking about how much fun it would be to torment him AND ember. So, I tied her to the other side of the rack and we connected their collars with a short chain. It kept them very close but they could not kiss – it just didn’t work because he is over 6’ and she is 5’ 3”. He was in boxers. She was naked. Every time I hit her, she was pushed forward into him. And every time he was hit, he (and his by now very hard and very large cock) was pushed into her.

The submissives were getting more and more frustrated by the barriers to doing what they really wanted. And the Dominants were getting more and more excited by the torment we had so spontaneously created together. My ember reached with her foot and tried to take his boxers off. I decided this was awesome and helped her by tugging them off. His very large cock was now slapping her very wet pussy. And then it happened. My ember created the most sexy act I have seen before or since: she hopped up, pulling on her restraints and wrapping her legs around his waist, sinking down until he was balls deep in her.

Starlight and I watched as they frantically fucked in their restraints. She, holding on to him and he, thrusting with all his might. Starlight and I was so swept up by the intensity of the moment that we began to passionately make out, our hands exploring each other’s bodies.

And then it happened. Dizzy’s shoulder popped right out of the socket. The scene was over and the coitus, interrupted.

We took them down quickly, and Starlight helped him pop his shoulder back in. The playdate was over and they were headed to another party. We begged off and decided to process the experiences we had had that night. The flutter in my gut was back and I didn’t know what that was about either. We got dressed and drove back to the hotel.

When we got there, ember and I went to the pool but didn’t swim. We processed my flutter and what I realized was that the flutter was a warning from my gut that something was not ok. I had never let another Dom work on her like that before. And this Dom – Dizzy – was someone that she had strong lust for. And in their moment of play, it became just them. Not us three. I was no longer included and that didn’t work for me. It wasn’t her fault or Dizzy’s fault. It was mine. I had let myself become a voyeur instead of staying in the Dominant role, but letting him work on her. It was a lesson. One I have never forgotten.

Dizzy and Starlight showed up at the pool soon enough and they sensed something was up. We discussed the matter and then is was done. We all jumped in the pool and frolicked the night (or morning) away. That night was the first time since college that I went to bed as the sun was coming up.

The next morning, as we walked into the vendor area, My ember was transformed. She was not wearing the business suit from Friday, or the Tshirt from Saturday. No, she was wearing black leggings, a purple corset, her collar and some fuck me heels. And she was no longer the timid professional, she was a proud, tits out, kinkster, come to get her freak on.

That journey of self-discovery had taken us light years that weekend, and it continues today, going further than we imagined we could go.