Looking for a family member that my partner and I have been caring for for 5 years, who has dementia that has obviously progressed. We need help and can't do this alone anymore. Family member has no assets but gets a pension that puts them over the limit for Medicaid/Medi-Cal. My partner already doesn't work to care for the family member, and I switched to PT. We unfortunately both have health issues of our own that has added a lot of difficulty to the 24/7 caregiving. We don't want to/aren't ready to place family member in Memory Care. There is an amazing program in my County that provides a daily day program family member could go to with activities and awesome care, but they require the clients to have Medicaid/Medi-Cal, and if not out of pocket it is $5,600/month. We can afford probably $500/month for private care before things start to get very tight, but we obviously can't get squat for that little.

Family member is a Veteran, served during wartime. We get Aid and Attendance and a few hours a week of a private caregiver through the VA (were just reassessed and were told max is 14 hours only if Veteran is bedbound/on a feeding tube/etc.).

I realize that the answer is probably to talk to an elder law attorney, which I am reaching out to, but I figured I'd check and see if anyone had any ideas as well.