"All happy families are alike, each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way".
This text is only for HONEST single M without kids & dogs, without dream to have them, strictly monogamous, from any country (city habitant), who searches for wife, who is able to write detailed first message about himself, able to have voice & video calls later, able to meet during next two months. I prefer age older >35 (olde r- better), but this is not a must. You can be Christian (practicing or not) or atheist. Some explanations about this are in the end of the text.
Important, CHAT DOESN'T WORK CORRECTLY. I can't see & reply to chat requests, can't fix it. Text to letter section. How to do that? Open my profile > More options > Send message. Not chat, but message, please.
I'm a single F from Ukraine (can meet with you in another country, more safe for you). I search for a HONEST single childless M >35 (older - better) for a serious relationship, first without physical aspects. Your country, age & appearance are not important. I wish you are self-employed, your own master & boss or digital nomad, who is not bent strongly with certain place of living or office shedual, but that is not a strict demand. You can be employee, bent to certain place &; shedual (I have always been only in that category). I wish to meet someone, who can meet during next 2 months (can't wait for years).
Four qualities are important for me.
Honesty is a first quality, that I search for. I have met few men in reddit, who lied about every aspect of their life. I don't want to talk with someone, who will lie or hide something. The truth comes sooner or later, and when it happens, that breaks the heart. I expect honesty from start till end, even if truth is not beautiful. When you discover lie for a first time, you make yourself to close eyes on that, you try to forgive, but be sure, soon that will repeat many times and in the end you will stay alone broken. My sad experience showed that clearly. If a person is a lair by nature, that can't be improved, such man will bring only pain.
Second is freedom. That is closely connected with trust, safety and honesty. I don't want to be ignored for weeks any more, I want to have access to person in any time with a hope to get reply at least once in a day or two or three maximum. I want to meet someone, in whom I can be sure & with whom I can feel peace in mind, not constant stress. Lies and ignoring bring too much stress.
Third is not to be jealous. If we have relationship, I will not give reasons for jealousy, but jealousy as a constant person's characteristic leads to very painful relationship, I don't want that. Before, I tried to be good for that one, with whom I planned to meet. I deleted my reddit account and stopped all further search, waiting to meet this person. He promised to meet, but he cheated, using someone's personal information as his own, pretending to be someone, whom he wasn't. When the time to meet was coming, he disappeared. So please, don't expect me to talk only with you until we meet (I will not demand that from you too). I don't consider bare words without true actions as something real any more. I will search and talk with other people until meet with someone in real life &; have proves that everything is serious. If you feel uncomfortable about that & you expect woman to talk only with you & to delete her account, then I'm not your variant, because I have been in such situation, it ended badly.
Fourth is the ability to forgive, it is connected with kindness. All of us make mistakes, and some mistakes can be forgiven. I don't talk now about situation, when you discovered, that husband/wife cheated with other women/men or some really serious things, like drug/alcohol additions. But about smaller sins, that may happen, when you contact with a person for a long time (Will you forgive me not answering your message immediately or you will delete all dialog in a second, because you felt ignored?). Kindness is connected with wish not to torture a person. Not to make him to suffer, not to press him. Not giving pain to this person. No need to explain all this if person is truly in love or at least has some sympathy. For a pity, not everyone is able to love. Some people were born to give pain. Constant lairs will bring only pain. Some people are naturally cruel and misoginic, despite all "sweet" words & promises they may tell. They feel good, when you feel bad. Sadistic side of their nature demands a revenge for their past fails with women.
Sometimes men expect physical aspects very fast & leave fast, if not get it soon. In my opinion, this means the first interest was not in the relationship itself, but in these aspects. That's why I want to find a relationship first without it. If you are concentrated on your sexual life, it is the most important thing for you, you will date only with that one, who will obey you doing all your fantasies, you have porn addiction, use sex toys, want to have third person in bed or bdsm, send nude pictures, like violence, then DON'T text me. Person, whom I search, is more spiritual & self-giving, truly wants to give pleasure to partner in first turn ( his actions will show that, not just cheap words) & control himself enough well not to turn into animal in that sphere too.
Right person for me is someone, who will be happy staying with me & will do everything for me by his own wish. That might be very hard - to deal with someone. Easier to be alone and not to deal with people at all. That's why many people choose to stay alone. Nothing bad in that, it can be understood.
If things work, I can relocate to you or to invite you to live in Ukraine after the war ends. If you are able to set up app called t1e1l1e1g1r1a1m for chat &; meet in real life during next two months, then please text me (If your camera & microphone are broken & you have no one to ask them to borrow you a phone for a call, then, please, don't text). I prefer well written letter, that was sent in inbox letters, not in chat requests.
Now more details about me. Never been married, no kids (will not have in the nearest time and probably will never have ( that can change but unlikely, haven't decided that question till end)), no pets. Was raised in small village at farmer's house (the nature was great, but didn't like the hard-working lifestyle) & prefer city life. I don't smoke, don't drink alcohol. You will not have to suffer dealing with numerous people around me, because I don't have friends (connections disappear, when interests & lifestyles become different) & my family is very small. I don't visit bars, clubs or parties & not addicted to social networks. As an introvert, I can't open to someone fast, because have been cheated by those whom trusted. Life teaches, only real actions show the true person's intentions, not just his words. Hobbies are books, old films (mostly European movies) & music (classic, rock, blues, electronic, experimental), history, museums, theaters, birds watching, visiting new places & just going for a walk with someone, with whom conversation can be good. I like to listen to people.
About 4 negative moments. The first is my passivity. I was raised in a culture, where it was considered vulgar, if a woman is too active in the path of creating a relationship. Yes, it is obvious that active women will get success sooner than passive one, but I can't change myself & prefer the one, who will take initiative & will be just classic old-fashioned gentleman. I don't like to attract unwanted attention of every man, because I'm very selective in what I search. A person, whom I wish to meet, will not be attracted to provocative look, red lipstick and artificial leashes. That doesn't mean that I'm too ugly. I'm average, not too ugly, not too fat. I'm not what you call "hot", but your eyes will definitely not bleed, when you see me (170 sm, near 65 kg (keeping diet now), average building, long hairs). I don't send photos after 5 seconds of conversation. I don't like to show off myself to everyone & not interested in men, who like to attract additional women's attention too. I want really serious & reliable man, who will be only for me, not for all other women behind my back.
The second negative moment is that being introverted, I totally dislike situation when I have to contact with unknown people, especially with men, especially in field of relationship. That sounds not logical, because how can someone know anyone if he/she doesn't like starting this contact? There is only one solution for me. I can start contact only, if I have already got very detailed information about person, so this makes illusion, that he is already not a stranger. Most of the men send a short message, expecting that I will ask many questions trying to find out his personality. The truth is, that I will not do it. Yes, you can call me bad for that, but I will reply only to well written detailed letter from someone, who will not make me to ask many questions, but will write proper letter with basic information by himself. If you don't know about what to write, then you can use my text as an example (maybe, not the best one).
Number three is about infidelity. Whose fault is it when people have a relationship with the wrong partners? No one's. I need someone, who can be happy with only one woman in his life. Lifelong relationship. Who is not too concentrated on his sexual organs, that's important. No peaceful life with a man, who is mentally too stressed with that sphere and stays in constant search of adventures.
Fourth is about animals. I like animals in general, both pets & wild. Till certain moment I thought that I prefer dogs. I stayed in an area, where people are not used to put a mask or walking rope on a dog. Some people even just let them go for a walk without owners. Sometimes that lead to unpleasant situations, when dogs attack people, I got such experience. With all respect to dog lovers, I would prefer not to stay with a dog owner. Totally understand those. Who will prefer his dog better, then relationship with neurotic person, who is afraid of dogs. I will NOT stay with owner of fight dog. Small & very friendly dog, maybe can be ok. I like birds ((until they are not Hitchcock's crowns or Allan Poe's pigeons)(joking)). To watch them with all possible comfort I made feeder box near window & now sparrows, tits, red cardinals, magpies, crowns are my often guests here. My favorite is fat tit with fluffy yellow belly. I guess it's a male, because he is very demanding, impatient & brazen-faced. When he comes to the windowsill, he starts to knock into the window with his beak demanding for food if feeder is already empty. While all other birds are patiently waiting.
That were negative moments. Obviously, there are much more of them. But I'll let you discover the size of all iceberg by yourself. Thanks for reading.
P.S. Please, be patient & don't expect fast replies, sometimes it is not easy to do due to many reasons.
P.S.S. Chat doesn't work correctly and doesn't show messages and requests there. Text only in letters section. And the last thing. I have already mentioned it before, but usually people don't see or don't understand. I expect big well written FIRST letter. I'm NOT interested in small talk. I'm here NOT for sexting, NOT for "fun", I DON'T search for "friends". Before you ask me about anything, you send me a big letter about yourself. I will NOT ask you anything and will NOT develop any conversation, if you haven't made any efforts writing your FIRST message introducing yourself. Short messages or questions look disrespectful, when it is clearly said, that big letter is expected. Please, at least 10-15 sentences about you & your life. Please, make some efforts, if you are really serious person. Your photo is not a replacement of the letter. I don't want to talk with that one, who demands anything from me, including photos or calls. I will decide myself, when I want to share, if I will have such wish. If you can't accept that, please, don't text. If you feel bored and text to everyone in sub, please, text someone else. Your letter will not obligate you to anything, I'm open to friendly talk with someone serious, even if nothing will happen. Thanks for reading.
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- 1 year ago
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