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It’s starting to feel weird in here as a 31F
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Like I said, I’m 31F and have been in an age gap relationship with a 55M for 4.5 years. We first met when I was 25. We really love each other and have been growing with each other all the while. The age gap does have its complications, but at the end of the day I love him for him. His age is attractive, but I would love him if he was my age too.

I’ve personally changed a lot since we first started dating, and we’ve both realized we want our relationship to feel more like an equal partnership. Before he did a lot of “taking care” of me, but I want to take care of him too. I attribute a lot of my mental growth to turning 30 and starting to evaluate my life and where it’s going, as well as knowing myself better and developing more self confidence and comfort.

I joined this sub because I wanted to feel less alone or weird about my agr and maybe get some advice on how to handle different things. But I gotta say reading some posts here ends up making me feel a little like I don’t belong as a younger woman partner who is over 30. And I’m starting to get offended by the way older men describe both their early 20s partners and their previous relationships with older women.

Older women get described as boring, high maintenance, bitter, and sexually repressed. Younger women get described as adventurous, easy going, light hearted, and above all HOT. I’m starting to question where do I fit in? I still feel like my 25 year old self. But am I slowly turning into a boring old hag? Is my youth really my only value? Have I officially expired??

To all the older men out there in relationships with 21 year olds, do you realize she too is going to grow older? Do you expect her to change over time? Are you really in this for the long haul or are you planning to replace her eventually?

I know we’ve all been in unhappy relationships with partners our own age, and I’m not trying to invalidate those experiences at all. I am just here asking for everyone to be more kind and respectful to older women. And think before describing them in a negative way. Because your sexy bubbly 20-something will be that older woman someday (and possibly still remain sexy and bubbly, gasp.)

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2 years ago