I’m sharing something that has been affecting me for a long time and I just don’t know how to come out of this

I (F27) got to know of a man online (M59) and we had an amazing online long distance relationship where we got to know each other and discovered that we liked each other.

Of course, the most significant hurdle felt like this age gap between us but it was not actually a concern for me or him. We continued our relationship but there came a time when we had to make a decision to get serious about the relationship but that is where reality brought us down

He said that rationally it wasn’t a good idea for me to be dependent on him in a relationship, because of his age. Health issues etc might leave me hanging and he didn’t want to put me through such difficulties.

We decided to call it off and we completely broke up.

I have tried to get over him for so long but it’s been 2 years and I can still feel the pain. I kept looking to move on but whenever I found someone else I always get reminded of him. He was the benchmark. He was the sweetest guy I have ever met. He understood all my pain, my past, my traumas. He knew me like I knew myself.

And then we were strangers again. How do I move on? Will I ever find someone like him again? I am just put off by younger men simply because this special man I had was the benchmark and his maturity was what attracted me to him

I’m so lost urgh 😭