I’ve recently started dating again, and went in a date with a couple of older men. The topic of what we find important in a partner comes up, and one of the things I always mention is finances.

Personally, I don’t mind finances that much for guys my age (21F) we’re pretty young, and as long as he’s in school/has a job/working on it, im quite tolerant of it and am happy to grow as we date.

However, when I date older guys, finances are particularly important to me. One of the guys texted me back saying he wouldn’t like a second date since I considered money important.

But my response is; why is this offensive? When I’m dating an older guy I would expect he would be financially well off, otherwise sorry but what’s the point? If I wanted physical lust/energy I’d go for guys my age, but when I’m with someone older, I thought it’s quite obvious the appeal is stability/maturity.

I’m not looking to buy a bunch of luxury items with this man’s money, but I’d like to be confident that at that age he is well off and can support us. Can anyone shed some light on why this is so sensitive?