For several years now, as a young woman, I’ve felt really out of step with friends my age. Most of them have completely normal romantic experiences with young men, enjoying sweet stories of youth and love. But as for me, I’ve always been attracted to older men.

They say every desire hides something unconscious, but honestly, I don’t think I have any ‘Daddy Issues.’ My father has always been present in my life. For me, it’s purely physical, but also behavioral—I’m drawn to older men, and I see it almost as a form of gentle dominance.

When I’ve dared to talk about it (which is rare!), I’ve faced a lot of judgment. While some of my friends don’t judge me, none of them really understand. I tell myself that I’m still young and might one day find a younger man, but just the thought of it makes me feel strangely uncomfortable.

The more time passes, the worse I feel about it. I feel like I’m completely deviant and misunderstood…