27NB with the 52M crush here again. The one date we had was so fucking amazing but knowing he has a long distance situationship with a previous ex is killing me.

He texted me Sunday saying he just wants to be friends. But then Monday morning he texts me again being flirty so I told him I need some space if he wants to be my friend because I’m kind of hurt that he was already in a relationship without telling me, whether it’s casual or serious. I don’t like feeling like feeling like an object to use whenever he needs a pick me up so I told him that I don’t like being toyed with like that.

Well, Monday evening he texts me again saying he thinks he’s not gonna be satisfied unless we pursue things further and he said that he doesn’t know how to have the conversation with this long distance ex he’s been talking with. I just don’t want to be part of this thing until he makes a decision on what he really wants and acts on it, either cutting it off with her and talking to me about what he wants or telling me he wants to be friends and letting me heal and then coming back to it later with a better understanding of the dynamic. But it’s tearing me up. I really liked him, and I just feel like my emotions are being played with here. Saturday night was the best date I’ve ever been on, but now everything is confusing and hurts.

He hasn’t tried to talk with me since last night (it’s now Tuesday), so I’m taking that as a sign he’s trying to respect my wishes to keep distance for now, but it hasn’t been long at all. He could just randomly text me later in the day or see me at work and try to chat me up again and the thought of my boundaries being breached is making me so anxious. I want to be respected in this relationship and I want to be with him so bad but I’m just really afraid that he’s not gonna respect me or my feelings and I don’t wanna lose a really good connection because of all this complicated bullshit.

So uh, does anyone have any advice on this? I’m just gonna keep my distance for now, but do I talk to him again or just stop talking entirely? I’m torn here.